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Open Poetry #24
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Cries by Streetlight
| Open Poetry #24 |
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Cries by Streetlight |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN 
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Sulfur yellow light holds the dark at bay; Bone bleached cinderblock my walls, Barring minds and vessels alike From the gloom of hallowed halls Distance torques my spirit to its seat, Weaving the pale stuff of a soul Warp through weft with iron silence; Gravity pulling the density below Skin, bone, beyond by painful feat, Wrenching self from flesh Alone, unhindered my emptiness is full. Yet unquiet lurks motionless within Roiling about untapped mysteries Sighing around an emotional lynch pin Will someone release me, close this distance? I am bound too tightly within this shell; Self-destruction pulsing dimly Thick in the air as death’s knell Speak to unwind the silent iron, Touch to burn this frozen skin; Yearning for warm proximity Yet sterile walls add miles to Sulfur light reflected in wet eyes Supplication for stars to kith and kin "A hard, cold wisom is required for goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes evil" - Robert Heinlein |
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| © Copyright 2003 Abrahm Simons - All Rights Reserved | |||
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raleighbttrfly Member
since 2000-11-21
Posts 160Raleigh NC |
alot of good lines in this. i liked the aliteration alot also. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Superb and complex visions throughout... The rhythm was a tad choppy...and I am an intentional free spirit...so that is not a bad thing...but to the reader, it could take the concentration from your exellent write. To smoothe this would bring glass over cool water! ThisDiamond Also...felt the deep restless churn of loneliness and a heart numbed...hope all is well...as it should be for you. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Wow. Liked the entire poem, but the second stanza, my favorite. Enjoyed and look forward to reading more of your work. Warm regards, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
well, where have you been? looking forward to more, more, more! |
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GOlDsparklESS Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428central nj |
Alone, unhindered my emptiness is full. Yet unquiet lurks motionless within Roiling about untapped mysteries Sighing around an emotional lynch pin mmm very dusky. |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Fantastic writing... I very much enjoyed this read... *~coco*~ [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (01-12-2003 12:02 AM).] |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
oh my!!..the images you've conjured here--enjoyed!! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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enchantingvamp Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas! |
Enjoyed this read very much, looking forward to reading more. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Excellent poetry, my dear! I really liked the second to last verse..it broke up the series of images (which were great) and told plainly how you felt. The rhythm is a little choppy indeed, but who's to say you didn't want it that way? If you didn't, then maybe it's somethin to think about though. Anyways, nice to see you writing again! Much love, honey.  *Krista Knutson* |
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LadySofia Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238FL., USA |
"Distance torques my spirit to its seat, Weaving the pale stuff of a soul Warp through weft with iron silence; Gravity pulling the density below" These verses above were immensely powerful and reminded me of many things. As broadly applicable as the universe, with so many unique interpretations. Excellent read! |
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