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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2004-02-11 09:26 AM


The cremated ruins of my world
lie now in an urn
no use for me
remains.

Scattered bits of love and reminisce
are retrieved from the tick-tocking
that threatens to steal them
and added daily
but the bottomless urn overfills
with nothing but
despair.

Lord take my words,
no longer do they have meaning;
take my ears, without his voice in it
this earth is but a void;
take my heart, it is ripped
beyond repair;
take my eyes for all the colors have
melded; take the warmth of the sun
for this coldness is
impenetrable.

Take everything I am
or might ever be
just please
please
give my baby
back to me...

Even now my irrational pleadings
tell me that it is not possible,
this prayer that I pray - absence
is unto death as breath
is unto life.

But in this dark hour, dwelling in illogicality,
comfort seems entirely plausible
and so one last thing of You my Lord I will inquire
if I cannot once again hold
his beating heart next to mine,
then please take the air
that I breathe...

© Copyright 2004 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2004-02-11 10:13 AM


take my ears, without his voice in it
this earth is but a void;
take my heart, it is ripped
beyond repair;
take my eyes for all the colors have
melded; take the warmth of the sun
for this coldness is
impenetrable.

There isn't a thing I could say that wouldn't be banal or inadequate... the pain your pen conveys is beyond touching... I weep for you, dear lady.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2004-02-11 10:27 AM


OhSweetie~

'absence
is unto death as breath
is unto life'


knowing the painful realize of this~

May He continue to hold you as you pen the tears~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2004-02-11 11:10 AM


jellybeans

You bring me so sharply back to this:

Rock the cradle
hums the silence,
swaddle the aching story
in soft memories lullaby.

Push again
the breath of morning
into the arms
of waiting listen
before the wail
and stench of dying
digest the offering
of my needful retrospect.

Become the giggles
and glee of summer’s lasting
when again
you are my whimsy
and I your wisdom.
--------


jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2004-02-11 01:18 PM


suthern, your weeping heals my soul, thank you my friend

marge...you know, I can feel your knowing, grief is such a hard thing, but sharing it, helps one get through...don't know how it works but it does.......thank you

martie, beautiful poem, and I am sorry, if my loss brings yours to light, would not ever want to hurt another with my loss, that is why I debated so the posting of these...sigh

Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
5 posted 2004-02-11 01:30 PM


jellybeans:  If it helps in any small way to post your feelings here, by allmeans do!
We all understand what a traumatic time this is for you and all we can do is pray for your healing.

Love
Betty Lou

Betty Lou Hebert

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2004-02-11 02:03 PM



Just know I am holding you in thoughts and prayers~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2004-02-11 02:03 PM


jellybeans

This is the month of remember for me...it is good, the life, not the death...I want to remember.  Don't fret, okay...I thank you!  Hug!

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2004-02-11 08:32 PM


Even now my irrational pleadings
tell me that it is not possible,
this prayer that I pray - absence
is unto death as breath
is unto life.

~*~

sometimes mothers and irrationality seem to be a part of life.  Even when it's not fair.

*hugs*...

K

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2004-02-14 04:46 PM




(big angel hugs) Oh, dearest friend, I wish there was something I could say to make everything anew again, dearest friend, though it may not be enough know that we are all here for you and we'll be blessed to always lend you a shoulder if you need one, as we are your friends and He is embracing you with His dearest hug! (wipes tears) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

beaniebaby
Member
since 2005-11-17
Posts 55

10 posted 2006-06-26 10:54 AM


sigh

[This message has been edited by beaniebaby (06-27-2006 09:52 AM).]

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

11 posted 2006-06-27 09:52 AM


thank you all again
Songbird
Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184
Missouri
12 posted 2006-07-09 11:41 AM


I know this kind of loss and your poetry is a beautiful description of it. Time does eventually take the edge off it.
Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
13 posted 2006-07-09 01:45 PM


jellybeans,

As you are probably aware, I do feel extraordinarily for your loss as the one year anniversary of the loss of my Grandbaby approaches on August 6th. When my Daughter and I get together again, our plan is to spread part of Cole's remains out over the ocean and spend some quality Father/Daughter time together in quiet reflection.

God bless and thank you for sharing.

-Bob

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