Open Poetry #23 |
Ending the World ( revision 1) |
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
At turn of bend where white water runs with noisy swooshing roar the boulders lie closer to the center spreading the deep in layers of churn. One can run this if the left side is held and firm hand used for quick turn avoiding upturned remnant of tree that now lies supine the length of bank. But, I would rather walk the boat down so I can enjoy the sounds and stop to fish just below the maddest part of rush. Here... immersed in rainbows of mist the rest of the world ceases to exist |
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© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat, Here... immersed in rainbows of mist the rest of the world ceases to exist There are many paths to the same place. Enjoyed |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
This for me, would be a perfect day!--so in tune with nature, so in tune with the beat of my own drum! I loved this fine piece of writing from a very fine poet! ~ Dear Captain, may your journey through life be as beautiful as this poem... EA [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (12-12-2002 09:42 AM).] |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, No idea how times you plan on revising this, for it is perfect to me. I like: "with noisy swooshing roar" and so much more...you take us right there. Especially like the ending: "Here, immersed in rainbows of mist the rest of the world ceases to exist" A nice place to be.... Enjoyed much. Warm regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sy..thank you. Yes there are manyw ays to get to that place in our mind. This was always one of my favorite ways.. EA... a perfect day...yes in many ways. Getting lost in the river, the rocks and the sounds. I wish for you dear friend the same. pat... how many times I intend to revise.. ( laughing) many never live long enough for revisions at all, when one does manage to avoid my habit of deleting, it in some ways gets revised everytime I look at it. NOW honestly... I try not to look at them very often so I don't get the urge to delete them. ( chuckling) This one however... well it reminds me of a day and a time that are special to me, so it has managed to survive. thanks all for reading and commenting. I dug this one out in part for Corinne who seems to think I need to cheer up a bit. This one does. [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (12-12-2002 09:59 AM).] |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Here... immersed in rainbows of mist the rest of the world ceases to exist Can you tell me where "Here" is? I like that place. M |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Yep.... Here in this case was the lower Niangua below Bennet springs on a hot summer day... wasn't alone but at this moment I was as the other fellow I was fishing with had other interest in places to fish.. HERE... is that place that does not exist except in the moments of finding peace, lettin git all go... in just absorbing the energy around you and erasing your own ego... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Fishing again, yes? Not what I expected from the title, but then I've come to expect the unexpected from you ~ always. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling) Expect the unexpected? Hmmm... I am actually quite predictable. A fishing memory... just a time and place I ran across this morning and rather than write what ws in my head..edited this one and posted it. This is a much better place to be than what I was thinking of writing... the title... it is an ending to the world around you... at least for the seconds or minutes you can find those places.. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Can I sit by the mists with you? I'm tired of traipsing over boulders. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sure.. pull up a rock and have a seat.. only problem is my friend, we all have to climb over boulders to get to such spots and we all have to leave them eventually. Part of the process I guess... still, in those moments of time and space when we find such peace and the world does cease to exist for us... we can understand a lot about ourselves by simply letting it all go... but for now.. sit and rest... enjoy the sounds... [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (12-12-2002 10:39 AM).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron Fishing is always a good excuse to go somewhere and appreciate the beauty of nature and be alone with your thoughts. Hmmm, must be why I love to fish. Thanks for reposting this! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Welcome Martie.. I know you understand and know what it is to lose yourself in such places.. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Excellent writing...James |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
Whew! I thought the sky was falling, glad to see it just rested in a peaceful place for awhile--enjoyed! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
a simple pleasure for you, as we talked about.....yes, but spare the little fishy.......they feel too |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Every single line of this poem is incredible. A song of nature...truly splendid. |
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Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
You do this kind of poetry quite well, Cpat. Write on. Sunkissed. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
You have some Hemingway in you, I see. |
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