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Open Poetry #23
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Passing
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Passing |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
“Waiter, could we get coffee, please?” “With cream.” She added. Subtlety lies in wording questions So that the listener is not put on guard, Defensive of position. “And you?” “ Much the same, but with different names.” Insight often lagging a bit behind visual Images and needs to process the now known Do not reveal less “Why?” “I hate to fail and can not give up.” Time passes in clinks and sips of normalcy That masks unknown thoughts. “ I hate being cold.” “You’re shaking” |
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| © Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
In so few words, it sounds as if so much was shared, as if a common bond threaded two... As always, you leave much to the imagination... Well done, Sir... |
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
This is very unique....not normalcy *S* Oh if we could read people's thoughts, but then they could read mine ..and that might not be such a good thing.  I sure enjoyed this cup of coffee. ~Salty In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sunshine: Much to the imagination is good is it not? ( smiling) Salty: Not normalcy? Meaning I am abnormal and this write sits on the edge of being understood? ( smiling) If you enjoyed that cup of coffee let me pour you another. thanks to both of you... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling, he CAN read people's thoughts. loved this'n, captain. A subtle bit of the art of reading between the lines. nice.....  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
well done! I love it! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ser... glad you enjoyed. Not sure anyone reads other peoples thoughts though.. ( smiling) Passing Shadows: First..I like that name as it implies they will not be there forever... secondly..I thank you... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron I have read this more than several times...and I'm still unclear, except: “ I hate being cold.” “You’re shaking I understand. It's interesting, my friend, this interaction needs faces, perhaps, to see the effect of the words. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I knew you were gonna type that. Just like YOU KNEW I'd be back, didnja?  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Martie... you are correct it needs faces to be understood... just a passing outling that should have stayed perhaps in privacy until it found its face Ser. I knew you would be back... yes. that I knew. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, Processing this poem does leave a lot to the imagination... What I like is the sublety in questioning...an art I am still acquiring, particularly with children, because they can go on the defensive quicker than I can inquire.... This goes so deep, I didn't understand the different names response...though I could try to conjure something up, it wears me out, thinking that hard. Also, it is as if the coffee orderer has to walk on egg shells, dealing with her. Not a good way to have to live. I have an ultra-sensitive friend who wears me out sometimes. She is a good person though and worth my time and true effort. Maybe someday she will change simply by my patience. It is always nice to read you, for I do learn something every time. Warm regards, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
hmmmmm..I think I'll have tea, and tend to the fire--even with cream and sugar, felt a bit chilly..*grins* "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Pat: It was intended to not need names or faces, but Martie makes a point in the fact it would be easier to understand if there were names attached to the characters. This one will peobably never see the light of day again once this post has sunk into oblivion as it does speak to something private in an abscure way... There is much one could read into it if they chose to think about it, and too little for the average reader to enjoy... I appreciate your comments and taking time to read... I see your writing has grown in structure and form over the last few weeks... I have enjoyed the directions you have taken... Sandpiper... by the fire with tea sounds lovely. I would not blame you at all for wanting to retreat to the comfort they offer. thanks for dropping by....and taking time to read. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Okay, dear Captain, I could take this poem at face value, or I could go below the surface and try to decipher the "subtlety (that) lies in (your) wording..."---I think I'll do both and double my pleasure!--and I take double cream as well! EA |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
EA... please be my guest... (smiling) I take mine black and prefer it strong, but I'll see if there isn't some cream around for you to enjoy in yours. thanks for dropping by! |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
this one does not lend itself quickly to deciphering, though, if you have been a part of a 'like conversation', you understand it word for word.... the ending.....wow |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
JB.. many ways to read the same words no? thanks for dropping in... good to see you back, now where's our poem from you? |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
well between headaches and work...my muse has gone back into exile...sigh...so nothing for me thank you...but this is worth more than one read...and yes, it is a wonderful work, can be read many ways according to the 'place' the reader starts from in their own life....that is the mark of really well written poetry....I like the way it reads to me, I always seem to start things and not finish, and end up somewhere in the middle...which is what this feels like...like a slice of 2 people.... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ah sorry about the headaches and understand work... do hope you grace s with a few of your words soon though... always a pleasure to see what you paint for us... good poetry...cpat hair.... nope...the two just don't seem to mean the same thing... |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
lol, nope you are wrong I looked up good poetry in the thesaurus and cpat is one of the synonmys.....*smile* |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Beautifully done. I love the subtlety, the way you engender a feeling with so little specific information. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Personally, I like how this comes across kinda bluesy....even without the faces.. is ok by me.. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I like a poem that lets me make up my own faces! I found the first few lines hard to follow, until I got used to what you were doing. The style was so different for you. But I liked it. Though, I would agree, it's not a 'light' read. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
pilgrimage... me subtle? surely it must be an accident. ( smiling) Thank you for dropping in and for the words. Barry... thanks for the thoughts and the insights...always appreciated. Duncan... Always nice to see your thoughts... no it is not an easy read. |
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