navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Just One Hour
Open Poetry #23
Post A Reply Post New Topic Just One Hour Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

0 posted 2002-12-04 03:42 AM


Just One Hour

Yes, yes my love.
You possess the stuff
that sweet dreams
are made of.
I would do
everything
in my power
to hold you
to kiss you
for just one hour.
And when that hour
is done I will not
hesitate to request
another one hon.

JamesLee
December04
2002



© Copyright 2002 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved
cherrylips
Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 51
UK
1 posted 2002-12-04 07:52 AM


This is funny I like it. Only one comment would be to perhaps alter the layout. I feel if it was sepearted slighlty more it would have a bteer effect. PLease dont take offence just a suggestion and you are by far a better poet than I. Enjoyed, dx
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
2 posted 2002-12-04 08:56 AM




This is simple in it's form....
yet what we all would want...
another, and another for a lifetime.
Well, least I would, smiling here...

Thank you,
Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2002-12-04 09:07 AM


I think you both would want more than one hour James.
Good write!
~Hugs~

~ Life is too short not to believe in Santa Claus ~

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
4 posted 2002-12-04 10:00 AM


Very nice James , simple but the emotion is expressed.  An hour may not be long enough once you have felt each others souls you want eternity.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2002-12-04 10:05 AM


James,
One hour leads to another, enjoyed.

Salty
Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
6 posted 2002-12-04 10:24 AM


so true.... I use to always think of the song "We've got tonight ..who needs tomorrow"?  Until tomorrow that is.... when you would need the night all over again   

So are you totally confused now?  

I enjoyed the read muchly

~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #23 » Just One Hour

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary