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Open Poetry #23
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Twas The Night Before Christmas At Balladeer's House, (annual post)
| Open Poetry #23 |
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Twas The Night Before Christmas At Balladeer's House, (annual post) |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
For all of you that don't know, Balladeer owns hundreds of Pest Control Franchises, (This will make this terrible excuse for a poem make more sense) Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house, Not a creature was stirring (You can bet not a mouse). Poor Balladeer, Was all snug in his bed, While visions of cockroaches Danced in his head. Milk and cheap cookies, Were left by the hearth, A carton of Pepto, In case Santa should barf. All of a sudden, He heard such a clatter, He jumped outta bed To see what's the matter. Up on the rooftop, Santa was twitching, The reindeer were scratching, Shaking and itching. With Balladeer's knowledge, And without hesitation, He knew of the answer, A FLEA INFESTATION! He ran next store, To his sailor friend LongJohn, Got his X-girlfriend's bathsoap, (Walmart Diazinon) He opened the top, Put in on Blitzen, On Prancer-on Dancer, And finally on Vixen. (You've heard of Vixen, That reindeer that's blonde, She once had this "thing" For that sailor LongJohn). The reindeer felt better, It was almost eleven, Santa kept itching, 'Deer dusted with "Sevin" Then Santa went off, He yelled over his back: "Merry Christmas to all" By "Mistle Toe-rag" |
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| © Copyright 2002 Toerag - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Toe, Mikes gonna get ya. Have a good holiday. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Toe, this was so flippin' witty and funny! Great rhyming and cadence as well.....I have to save this...........Done! Beware! Your jocularity may breed contempt in a certain cervine creature! lol ~ Sending you a big HUG EA |
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
OH how fun ...how fun.  Got to love it!!!! ~Salty |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Seeing the title reminded me of how many years you and Bal and Long John have been needling each other and upping the ante... and how much I treasure all the good times. Didja ever think when we were looking for a new site that the sailor would lead us into a port where posts became annual? *G* He done good (but don't tell him that! LOL) I love this poem, sweets. *G* Every time the holiday blues think about moving in with me, I've only to read this and the gremlins get ousted by my grins. *S* |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
 Mr. Toe, I sure was glad to see this. I hope you're back for awhile. I sure have been missing you, friend. Where you been, buddy?? We all love you here, you know....  By the way, I love your poem and into my library it goes, too. Be good, Mr. Southern Gentleman...  "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (12-03-2002 03:23 PM).] |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
OOOPPP-SY-DAISY.......click....there it goes. I forgot to put it in my library... |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
LOL...very cute. Glad you gave the explanation about the pest control business, otherwise I would have been scratching my head too!  Deb |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Yanno?...It's funny, I've never personally met LongJohn or Balladeer, and love them both like brothers. I would give anything to meet up with both of these very fine guys and just sit down and share a drink and some wise ass tales....I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart, I can think of no other thing I'd rather do before this pathetic life I lead ends, would be to meet with Suthern, Balladeer, LongJohn and several of you fine poets someday...It will happen someday I'm sure. [This message has been edited by Toerag (12-03-2002 03:35 PM).] |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
yep, you voice my wishes as well, would be nice to meet some of the poet folks here before I get too old to enjoy doing so...rofg... best Christmas wishes to you all....*smile* |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Toe, if I were to be one of those other "poets" whom you would like to meet, it would be a pleasure for me as well, to see you in the flesh! tehe ~ I do travel astrally! If you detect the scent of lilacs, know that I am there! Open your mind's eye and you will see me......tehe Earth Angel |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Toerag, thanks for the big smile this brought me.  LOLThe stars will shine when I am gone, |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
If I detect the sweet aroma of Lilac scented Pristine femine hygiene spray, I'll know it's you and take a bite.....after all, what's that old saying?...."If ya kissed her once would ya kiss her again?...be sure, with Pristine Feminine Hygiene spray...."...or maybe that was a Certs commercial?....Oh what the hell...I'd still bite!! |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
This was very funny...I laughed out loud,Toerag!!!  believe in what your heart feels... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
To have actually met you and still be on your wish list is the best gift any season could ever bring me. *S* And as I've said before... I'd pay admission just to see you with Bal and LJA... though I'd probably hurt myself laughing! LOL |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Toe, perhaps I should wear a chastity belt if we were to really meet in the flesh-- Just to be on the safe side! lol You may be an Aries but I'll bet you have Scorpio rising! Wow! What a sizzlin' combo! EA |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Toe, if I didn't know better...I would say you used to be a sailor in the USN Submarine Force....you certainly have the fine qualities to be one....Would be proud to make you an honorary member, just in case you are not... Enjoyed the write...and I too would like to meet some of you guys as well... |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
aww Toe, you are too cute. I love these funny little poems. Now, we wonder why someone who holds so little a value in personal hygene would be obssessed with pest control. That should be the least of his problems. Never be normal! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Happy Holidays, Toe...always enjoy your fun! |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Toerag - Oh, my gosh, You have me laughing out loud and thankyou.....I needed to have a good chuckle this evening. Much enjoyed. Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
hmmmm....I see reposts are in order for the holidays...okeedokee, ya bum!  |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
And so the season begins..... |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
nicely done, nicely done. /jen/ i'm freezing, i'm starving, i'm bleeding to death. everything's fine. [tracy bonham] |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Toerag, Ball-deer, LongJohn, and ALLLLLLLLLLLL the rest of you fine poets can all come to Florida, if you want to. We'd pretend we're all little girls and boys and go to see all the Christmas decorations. OKAY??????????   "Love makes the world go around" |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (giggles in delight) OH MY GOSH, I REMEMBER THIS!!! LOL! And what does that Mistle"toe" do anyhow? ROTFL! This is brilliantly mischievious, sweet friend, we all wish you the happiest holidays, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Toerag, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Now my quad mates are looking at me funny cause I'm supposed to be studying tonight, not lauging at your poem  I thought I recognised this from last year, but it's good to see it again hehe No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
This may be a repost, but I wasn't here last year and it's a classic! Gosh, it's got me screaming laughing. You guys are really lovable, silly nuts. Hugs, Marti |
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