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Open Poetry #23
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jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2002-12-03 01:46 PM


There was something too familiar
about the carnage for my mind to let
remembrance bring it out from hiding.
With the sound of the shrieking barely
out the door-despite my desire to help-
my words also hurriedly left me.

I mean what would you say
to one whose head is lying
on the floor?

Needle and thread in hand, rehearsed
movements start in on the reattaching
and I, analytically aghast hate to point
out that you are sewing it on crooked.

Your eyes wear the worry of the possibility
of my feinting so you are quick to point to the
scars more previous than the present and when
your lips would finally move, reassure

with a shrug...I have been dead before...

manners mitigate a moment of silence
but the alarming rate at which you are
paling insists that I point out that from
the hole in your heart you are still bleeding...

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (12-03-2002 02:26 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-12-03 02:43 PM


manners mitigate a moment of silence
but the alarming rate at which you are
paling insists that I point out that from
the hole in your heart you are still bleeding...


a powerful finish to a very insightful piece....

as always JB... you amaze me with the strength or your words and talent.

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

2 posted 2002-12-03 02:52 PM


thank you cpat....this poem kept me up all night until I finally got up and put it to rest on paper...I must give credit to a friend whose comment spawned the poem and is used in the poem ....
and the ending...thank you....it was what finally let me go to sleep....smile
I can not read it today without crying, I couldn't really say if I wrote it about me, or to me

Cpat Hair
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Posts 11793

3 posted 2002-12-03 02:55 PM


ah restless words and images can do that to you. Demanding a write so as not to be forgotten... glad you wrote it and that once written it allowed you to sleep.

jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2002-12-03 04:03 PM


yes I think that poets are lucky and cursed at the same time, cursed by the need to write but lucky that once written they find peace.
this one is a dark one, metaphorically should probably be in the darker forums, but...sigh it is where it is for a reason I guess

Toerag
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
5 posted 2002-12-03 04:15 PM


Well, this is interesting to say the least gal.....(But if my head was laying on the floor in the same room as you, I'd surely be checking out those wonderful legs and peeking up your dress).....
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

6 posted 2002-12-03 04:29 PM


rofg....and you my dear friend toe never cease to make me smile, can't you just picture a disembodied head 'still' trying to peak someone's dress....rofg..thanks for bringing out the lighter side of life Mr. Toe
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
7 posted 2002-12-03 04:36 PM




JB......yes, we've been dead before, we bleed, and we ~do~ recover....

I enjoyed this poem for many reasons, if only for the been there, felt that.

I think it is well-written, in fact  I love it. Extremely touching...

Hugs to you and warmest regards, Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2002-12-03 04:57 PM


I'm left with the image of a Raggedy Ann doll, torn so apart that a tear escapes an embroidered eye... and I hurt for her.

And then Toe gets me laughing with his peeking! LOL Watch out, HFG!!! *G*

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
9 posted 2002-12-03 11:34 PM


"I have been dead before." Those words just boomed down like thunder and shook me to the core, I can relate to them only too well. Very nice poem! I quite enjoyed it.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

10 posted 2002-12-04 01:59 PM


pat, thank you so much for your kind comments, you always reach back and touch with your words  

suthern, well I wrote it for a friend, but as I wrote it I realized that it was as much for me as for anyone else, it is sad that we tolerate abuse, but somehow we are resilient enough to put ourselves back together and go on...sometimes it takes someone else's observance to really 'see' what is going on...thank you lady

ww, thank you, I knew not everyone would like this, but then too, I knew there are some who have 'lived' it and would know it word for word....thank you for your comments

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (12-04-2002 02:00 PM).]

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