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Bluesy Socrateaser
Member Elite

since 2002-11-07

Posts 2417
In The Mirror

0 posted 2002-11-15 04:57 PM

She attracts me.

When she's gone,
I'm empty inside.
Every sound reverberates,
like in an empty room.
Conscious of myself only.
Then, not long after,
they begin to taunt me.
The little ones that know me,
and my weaknesses.
Twisting and distorting me,
from the inside out
until I scream out for release,
beg for mercy,
prostrate myself before their idols...
and pray!

Cold sweats.

Climb back into the chair.
Light a cigarette.
Look out the window.
Follow the light to the hardwood floor.
Then take another drag.
Smoke fills the beam of light
that skewers the glass panes,
like the way she pierces my soul.

She attracts me.
And I am helpless to resist her.

...just bein' Bluesy

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

1 posted 2002-11-15 05:53 PM

This is kinda bluesy...as is the name...and
also very good...Nice write!

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

2 posted 2002-11-15 06:56 PM

juxtaposing one addiction with another - clever.

i especially liked:

Smoke fills the beam of light
that skewers the glass panes,
like the way she pierces my soul.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

3 posted 2002-11-15 08:47 PM

Interesting write - enjoyed. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....

-Emily Dickinson

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

4 posted 2002-11-15 08:48 PM

I like--a lot!!

"I am a sky where spirits live.
Stare into this deepening blue,
while the breeze says a secret."
Jelaluddin Rumi

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2002-11-15 11:34 PM

"Smoke fills the beam of light
that skewers the glass panes,
like the way she pierces my soul.

She attracts me.
And I am helpless to resist her"

I do enjoy reading you

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

6 posted 2002-11-15 11:40 PM

Resistence is futile.

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

7 posted 2002-11-15 11:54 PM

pow'rful

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

8 posted 2002-11-16 12:20 PM

Max, you are so descriptive in your writing...so "bluesy"....I love it. I could almost see smoke rings floating up to the ceiling....and I don't even smoke anymore!!!

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

SimplyGold
Senior Member

since 2002-07-10

Posts 1453

9 posted 2002-11-16 11:24 PM

Bluesy, I find this to be a very sensuous poem. I like this descriptive seduction, it is very James Dean.

SimplyGold

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2002-12-16 04:10 AM

impressions left with me...smoke and all...I remember feeling that before.

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