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Teen Poetry #6

A Tat Pit Mind

LTEvans
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
Lenham, England

0 posted 2002-12-09 08:50 AM

A Tar Pit Mind.

Fossilise my dampened lies,
Inside this tar I am sinking in.
Coldness that is atrophying,
All the thoughts of gods and men,
Seems nothing like the dark within,
A softly, slowly, bubbling scream,
While the slick comes closing in,
Decay in earth, the death inside the dream,
Flayed inside my grimy deep,
Caught against the walls I have built,
To keep me in, to keep me out,
Erected from small bricks of guilt,
And mortared in with doubt,
I hold the wall against the night,
I feel to sick to touch the light,
A wall of sound to touch the sky,
That is mirrored in your demon eye,
You caught the truth with the lie,
The rotting in my broken bones,
Seems to make me feel at home,
My muscles burn, my fingers curl,
My eyes tears weep,
That quench no heat,
Inside my tortured sleep,
And when I wake,
Blackened rings beneath my eyes,
Indicate my hollow being,
Proves nothings what it seems,
When reflected in a dream,
Twist and turn in current hope,
And wish to drown not float,
Then snow comes drifting slowly in,
While fixing in my leaden grin,
Bow and scrape to every whim,
Let me finish drifting down,
To gasp and choke and drown,
To late my ways to mend,
I am happy with a senseless end,
My muscles cool, my fingers straight,
My eyes no longer filled by hate,
No wall of sound,
No blackened rings,
No truth, no lies, no broken bones,
Nor sleep, nor dreams,
No nothing left for me,
But peace.

xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
New York

1 posted 2002-12-09 03:46 PM

Wow this was a deep poem.. you used amazing imagery. You have to help me with imagery lol..thank you for the read it was great

shea

Rainbowdust
Member

since 2002-12-05

Posts 320
Sydney, Australia

2 posted 2002-12-09 08:43 PM

I've never heard this described so aptly before; or a mental journey described so well. You might want to try tightening it a bit to make it more powerful.

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

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