Upsidedown ( Im new and need peoples opinions )

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Teen Poetry #6

Upsidedown ( Im new and need peoples opinions )

xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
New York

0 posted 2002-12-08 07:37 PM

Left or right,
up or down,
life is always lived on shakey ground

Walking blindly,
threw the night,
with pen in hand,this is how i write

Roaming in circles,
don't know where to stand,
wishing you were here to hold my hand

Can't sit still,
need to speak my mind,
somtimes life can abuse you and be unkind

Always on the run,
to this life im bound,
this is what its like to see things upsidedown

[This message has been edited by xxxnuttyangelxxx (12-08-2002 08:52 PM).]

dinky
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 258

1 posted 2002-12-08 09:57 PM

hey,
another fantastic poem!
i especially luved the last line
keep writin.
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

2 posted 2002-12-08 10:01 PM

Hmm... I liked this rhyme scheme.. It was original, well, at least not seen often. I think I like this one more than the last. Keep on writin'!

'Rich

"You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2002-12-08 10:33 PM

Very good, especially for a first post. You have a lot of talent. I'll be looking for more of yours.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

Rainbowdust
Member

since 2002-12-05

Posts 320
Sydney, Australia

4 posted 2002-12-09 08:20 PM

Nice rhythm and meter; I liked this one too!

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

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