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devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

0 posted 2002-12-08 05:40 PM

I dance against the canvas
Making beautiful sunsets
Your rough hands direct me where to go
Slowly or quickly
Black,green,or red
I am so delicate
No sense of direction
Until you show me how to move
Gold,silver,or yellow
I am your passion
What you love to come home to
Your escape from the real world
I distort it for you
To the way you see it
Purple,orange,or tan
I am your passion
Your escape
Your paintbrush

xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
New York

1 posted 2002-12-08 09:07 PM

I dance against the canvas
Making beautiful sunsets

I love that line
good write

shea

dinky
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 258

2 posted 2002-12-08 09:45 PM

hey,
u said distort!!!
i luv that word, for some odd reason
but this was realllly good
u said distort!!!

sry...
anywayz this was a good poem.
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

3 posted 2002-12-08 09:48 PM

This was a wonderful poem, though, at the risk of sounding stupid, I don't get it at the moment. It should be said however, that with the amount of sleep I got last night, I don't get much. LOL Well, lovely poem anyway! Keep writing!

'Rich

"You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

4 posted 2002-12-09 04:45 PM

Thanks guys!..and yes Sam...I did say distort.
*Allison*

"Sorry I`m not home right now. I`m walkin in the spiderwebs so leave a message and I`ll call you back."

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

5 posted 2002-12-14 02:53 PM

hey i was lookin and realized i didnt reply to this one so goodjob man!!
###cathy###

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

6 posted 2002-12-14 04:17 PM

I do like the imagery. The only problem with some pieces I have read by you, is when you write sometimes you jump from one thing to another. You need to detail your work. I really do like your work. Good job.

CloudedDreams
Member

since 2002-11-23

Posts 210
My Fantasy Realm

7 posted 2002-12-14 08:55 PM

really pretty
really neat... ireally liked it
di I say 'really too much? nvm. Keep it up!

Yes there will be tommorrow, but will you be there to greet it?

rOxXbabY391
Member

since 2002-12-14

Posts 71

8 posted 2002-12-14 09:43 PM

"I dance against the canvas"
i love that line
i really like your poem! :-D
~>eMiLy<~

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

9 posted 2002-12-15 03:49 AM

Allison~
Wow...you are writing some excellent poetry these days,
and this one is one of my favorites.
I really enjoyed the colorful phrasing in this.
You've got some great lines here...

    "I dance against the canvas
     Making beautiful sunsets"

I LOVE that...just beautiful.

    "Purple,orange,or tan
     I am your passion
     Your escape
     Your paintbrush"

Just loving the way your mind worked on this piece.
Love the creativity...love the whole thing.
VERY well penned!
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

10 posted 2002-12-15 11:36 AM

Very interesting, I liked it.

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

Rug_Burnt_Loser
Junior Member

since 2002-12-13

Posts 11
>>o.b.l.i.v.i.a.n<<

11 posted 2002-12-15 06:19 PM

Sorry it took so long...
I was walking here, and I got lost...
But I am here now!!
Yippy!
I really like this, it's one of your best!!
I like the first two lines the best, just like everyone else, i guess.... but they stuck out the most.
"I am your passion"
that's pretty deep..

I really liked this.. I think I'll put it in my library, if you don't mind!

Talk to you soon, Allison... and great job!!

~~morgan~~
(shh! ask me later)

"In a photo the size of a kiss, a kiss in the shape of a bullet..."
~GlassJAw~
~siberian.kiss~

[This message has been edited by Rug_Burnt_Loser (12-15-2002 06:29 PM).]

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

12 posted 2002-12-15 09:33 PM

Oooh, oooh, I like, I like! I don't know why this caught my eye, but it's possibly the way that you described moving with colours

I like very much!
Rj

"it was cute, it was like he was shy and didn't want to make it too obvious"
~ Reena
I'm Rhondiforous!

LTEvans
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
Lenham, England

13 posted 2002-12-16 05:08 AM

Very good poem, some excellent imagery. For some reason though the subject matter reminds me of something else. I can not seem to put my finger on it.... mmmm...

Looking forward to more poems so keep 'em coming.

Solipsism saves us from the atavism of the Equalitarian.

LTEvans

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

14 posted 2002-12-16 09:41 AM

I like verrry much! I have to say, it makes a nice change, and the imagery is great. Well done!
Ellie

"I'm terribly sorry ma'am, my karma just ran over your dogma"

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