Teen Poetry #6 |
Paintbrush |
devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
I dance against the canvas Making beautiful sunsets Your rough hands direct me where to go Slowly or quickly Black,green,or red I am so delicate No sense of direction Until you show me how to move Gold,silver,or yellow I am your passion What you love to come home to Your escape from the real world I distort it for you To the way you see it Purple,orange,or tan I am your passion Your escape Your paintbrush |
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© Copyright 2002 Allison Colgrove - All Rights Reserved | |||
xxxnuttyangelxxx Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 72New York |
I dance against the canvas Making beautiful sunsets I love that line good write shea |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
hey, u said distort!!! i luv that word, for some odd reason but this was realllly good u said distort!!! sry... anywayz this was a good poem. ~samantha~ "sometimes i just feel like |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
This was a wonderful poem, though, at the risk of sounding stupid, I don't get it at the moment. It should be said however, that with the amount of sleep I got last night, I don't get much. LOL Well, lovely poem anyway! Keep writing! 'Rich "You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!" |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
Thanks guys!..and yes Sam...I did say distort. *Allison* "Sorry I`m not home right now. I`m walkin in the spiderwebs so leave a message and I`ll call you back." |
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foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
hey i was lookin and realized i didnt reply to this one so goodjob man!! ###cathy### "I am who I am who I am who am I?" |
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Kellie_Cantrell Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667New York |
I do like the imagery. The only problem with some pieces I have read by you, is when you write sometimes you jump from one thing to another. You need to detail your work. I really do like your work. Good job. |
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CloudedDreams Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210My Fantasy Realm |
really pretty really neat... ireally liked it di I say 'really too much? nvm. Keep it up! Yes there will be tommorrow, but will you be there to greet it? |
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rOxXbabY391 Member
since 2002-12-14
Posts 71 |
"I dance against the canvas" i love that line i really like your poem! :-D ~>eMiLy<~ |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Allison~ Wow...you are writing some excellent poetry these days, and this one is one of my favorites. I really enjoyed the colorful phrasing in this. You've got some great lines here... "I dance against the canvas Making beautiful sunsets" I LOVE that...just beautiful. "Purple,orange,or tan I am your passion Your escape Your paintbrush" Just loving the way your mind worked on this piece. Love the creativity...love the whole thing. VERY well penned! ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Very interesting, I liked it. "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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Rug_Burnt_Loser Junior Member
since 2002-12-13
Posts 11>>o.b.l.i.v.i.a.n<< |
Sorry it took so long... I was walking here, and I got lost... But I am here now!! Yippy! I really like this, it's one of your best!! I like the first two lines the best, just like everyone else, i guess.... but they stuck out the most. "I am your passion" that's pretty deep.. I really liked this.. I think I'll put it in my library, if you don't mind! Talk to you soon, Allison... and great job!! ~~morgan~~ (shh! ask me later) "In a photo the size of a kiss, a kiss in the shape of a bullet..." ~GlassJAw~ ~siberian.kiss~ [This message has been edited by Rug_Burnt_Loser (12-15-2002 06:29 PM).] |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Oooh, oooh, I like, I like! I don't know why this caught my eye, but it's possibly the way that you described moving with colours I like very much! Rj "it was cute, it was like he was shy and didn't want to make it too obvious" |
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LTEvans Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 72Lenham, England |
Very good poem, some excellent imagery. For some reason though the subject matter reminds me of something else. I can not seem to put my finger on it.... mmmm... Looking forward to more poems so keep 'em coming. Solipsism saves us from the atavism of the Equalitarian. |
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EleanorMoonbaby Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202England, UK |
I like verrry much! I have to say, it makes a nice change, and the imagery is great. Well done! Ellie "I'm terribly sorry ma'am, my karma just ran over your dogma" |
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