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Teen Poetry #6
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The Dance
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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The Dance |
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RedStoneEB Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772uk 
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Hearts thump along to drums Feelings rush to surfaces The words, tingle our souls As feet tip-tap the floor Beauty moves towards The kind they die for A voice asks to dance The yes looking back Grasping hands cling tight Feet move to the beat Lips press gently As lovers dance the night Music drifts away Still they dance on To their beat of love |
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| © Copyright 2003 Lee Hepworth - All Rights Reserved | |||
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snoduck Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 99Selah, WA |
not bad, although you started out not rhyming then fell into the rhyme scheme... it was still good. -Erica- |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
hey, I LOVE dancing so I know what you mean with this. You captured it very well. There are some errors in the rhyming and with the meter, but it's good anyway. -Jenni If you listen hard enough silence can mean more than words. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Red! There you are - had to come looking for you . . . I love this (hehe) and you know? I follow no form whatsoever - I just write what I feel - that is what poetry is all about really - feeeeeel . . . xxoo |
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lingering thoughts Member
since 2003-05-03
Posts 70Illinois, USA |
i really like this one ... when i read it , * not to sound cheesy * but i could see every word come to life ! good job ill be looking for more of yours *Cassandra |
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