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Teen Poetry #6
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I Forgot
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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I Forgot |
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EleanorMoonbaby Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202England, UK 
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All the earth is scorched and dead Withered flowers bow their heads Your clockwork heart begins to rust I see our gravestones through the dust. Deny me once, I'm a regret Deny me twice, just to forget I know I'm nothing in your eyes Mangled, whipped and hung with lies. Do you have some love to spare? I only wanted you to care So go on, leave me here to rot Convince yourself that I forgot. "I'm terribly sorry ma'am, my karma just ran over your dogma" |
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| © Copyright 2002 Eleanor Warren - All Rights Reserved | |||
Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Ellie: Wow, this was goood. A couple of lines stuck out to me..... These: I know I'm nothing in your eyes Mangled, whipped and hung with lies. And these: So go on, leave me here to rot Convince yourself that I forgot. And and these: Your clockwork heart begins to rust I see our gravestones through the dust. Loved those. Great job Ellie... Riley Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you...... [This message has been edited by Riley (11-28-2002 12:52 PM).] |
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Star T Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 182Philadelphia, US |
that was nice.had to read it 2ce or so to actually get it.it's deep.keep it up!! |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
I really liked this a lot!!! If you dont care, I think i'll add this to my PL! Wow.. I'm still amazed. It goes really deap. All the tainted lines.. gosh.. I am amazed. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Ellie~ I am TRULY impressed by this piece. This is an excellent write. I tried to pick out some favorite lines, but I LOVE all of them. Your word selection is perfect, and the flow is wonderful. You are definately growing in your writing and I'm enjoying reading your works.  ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
this is a really good poem. Stinky liked it a lot. The "clockwork" and "gravestone" lines were awesome. One of the best poems I've seen on here. -Stinky Twinkie- [This message has been edited by Stinky Twinkie (12-01-2002 02:42 PM).] |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Wow, that is an amazing poem. I can relate to it very well. You should be proud of your accomplishment. I think it is perfect. WinterWren |
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