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wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

0 posted 2002-11-13 07:35 PM

I take myself as a tree
All of the different branches
and small little nooks
make up me, I am secure

I like to think I am strong
Sometimes in wind I get pushed around
But i always stand erect
Never giving in

Sometimes those pesky people bug me
like those lumberjacks
whats their problem?
Let them bust out their saws, they can't get me

Those squirrels, they are the most annoying
The run up and down me, I can't stop them
they steal my goods, my talents
I wish i could tear them away

My leaves, my precious coating
They hide my scars, my nooks
When they shed and leave for the winter
I am defensless, cold, alone

Under my leaves you can find out everything
My past, my bitter past
A past that soon follows me everywhere
But every spring i can cover it up

But soon, my tree will die
I can only hope and pray I made something beutiful
Let my seeds fly in the wind and land
To create something even more beutiful

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

Jester
Junior Member

since 2002-08-13

Posts 41
The dark corners of your mind

1 posted 2002-11-13 07:44 PM

This really was a sweet little poem... something that sounds carefully thought out and enjoyable to read. BUT...i just cant get this part out of my head and i think it may be the most hilarious thing i've ever heard in my entire life.

like those lumberjacks
whats their problem?

Thats just so great....ha thanx for the read!
Jester

I am your God, will you kill me now or shall I be continually suicidal?

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

2 posted 2002-11-13 07:55 PM

Thanks Jester...i wanted it to be serious but also have it be funny! Thanks!

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

Morgana Le Fay
Junior Member

since 2002-10-25

Posts 22

3 posted 2002-11-13 08:50 PM

I agree. I like the quirkiness of this. Makes it feel real to me. Thanks for posting.

by the woods, you hear it creeping, and you know, they're the blood in you

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2002-11-15 12:46 PM

A lot of surrealism here. It really brings a lot into the whole extended metaphor you were using throughout the poem.

It is rather "quirky" but the meaning is not at all hidden. Nicely done.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

5 posted 2002-11-16 02:15 PM

This was great I liked the whole metaphore used throughout the whole poem. Good one!

*Allison*

boy and his spirit
Junior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 41
within my heart

6 posted 2002-11-17 12:14 PM

i agree with Jester!
I liked it alot. it was cute, and funny at the right moments. you are a good writer.

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