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ryanna lauryn
New Member

since 2002-11-09

Posts 9
KS

0 posted 2002-11-11 05:27 PM

Click clack
    Click clack
Fingers on the keyboard
    Spreading rumor, not fact.

Ha ha
    Hoe hoe
Being laughed at and called names
    A teen’s all time low.

Pitter patter
    Pitter patter
Tears begin to fall
    To no one it matters.

Sniffle sniffle
    Sigh sigh
Why does this have to go on
    Every day of my life?

"in three words i can sum up everything i've leaned about life; it goes on." -Robert Frost

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

1 posted 2002-11-11 07:44 PM

the way you spell out the sounds with rythm and rhyme is really cool; it cinches every one of your points.

but anyway don't get down. i made it through and I can be you also will.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

2 posted 2002-11-11 08:09 PM

Welcome to Passions. Please have a look around, read and reply to some of the poetry here, make some new friends.

Check you e-mail for a special greeting.

Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

3 posted 2002-11-12 01:50 PM

Sweet! i think we've all felt that way once in our lives.

Ha ha
Hoe hoe
Being laughed at and called names
A teen’s all time low.

This is all too familiar.

Thanks and Welcome!!

Darkness

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2002-11-13 04:11 PM

Hah, somehow this poem kept a very serious tone despite all the cynical commentary on Teen life. You also worked the onomatopiea (sp?) into this accurately, having it add to the poem and take nothing away.

Great work, and welcome to Passions in Poetry. I hope you have fun reading, replying and sharing with the rest of us.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

roxywrestlegirl04
Member

since 2002-10-29

Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE

5 posted 2002-11-13 09:32 PM

i LOVE this....it is so familiar....life is hard sometimes but everyone has to learn how to get through it.....great post!!
LIZ

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

6 posted 2002-11-14 03:51 PM

ryanna lauryn~
Welcome to Passions.
This is a powerful first post.
You've expressed these emotions very well.
I hope to see lots more from you.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

7 posted 2002-11-14 10:47 PM

First off...

Welcome to passions!!!

I really liked the format of your poem..it was interesting how you put sounds with each of the experiences. I liked that a lot. I hope you enjoy it here and im looking forward to reading more of your stuff! Thanks for sharing!

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

aVriL lAvIgNe

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