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Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2002-11-03 08:51 PM

Will I make it
through the day?
Should I listen
to what they say?

You will never see
the hurt part of me
So just keep going your way
And I keep on
BREAKING

How do you
sleep at night?
Why do they ask
if I'm alright?

You will never see
the hurt part of me
So just keep going your way
And I keep on
BREAKING

Can you see
the pain in my eyes?
Can you feel
the tears I cry?

It Won't Go away!
I keep FADING
Let the Truth poor OUT...
IT'S BEATING ME DOWN!!!
beating me down..

Beating...

You will never see
the hurt part of me
So just keep going your way
And I keep on
BREAKING

Why do I
feel so betrayed?
Do you see
the scar on my heart you made?

It's all bottled up inside..
help me go insane..
help me go..

Insane..

You will never see
the hurt part of me
So just keep going your way
And I am so...
BROKEN...

You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member

since 2002-07-02

Posts 439
I am everywhere

1 posted 2002-11-03 09:17 PM

Oh my god... this is SERIOUSLY good..
you are an amazing writer.. This belongs in my private library...
god... i can't get over this!!
I felt every word you said.

I hope you can find the glue to help your peice fit together again...

take care,
Sara

"i told you i'd never say goodbye . now i'm slipping on the tears you made me cry but that's what i get"

Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

2 posted 2002-11-03 10:27 PM

This is freaking awesome! It was like a song. You hade a verse, chaurus, and a bridge.
Very good choice of words, and a wonderful poem/song.

Dizzarkness

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-11-04 03:24 PM

Very nice structure. I have to regard what Darkness commented on, how it is song-like in appearance... I liked that, particularily because I read this as a poem and not a song, so there was less of a sound element evident in the words.

I'm liking your recent work, Staci. Keep it up.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

4 posted 2002-11-05 08:06 AM

Thank you for the replies, I'm glad you all liked it, this is one of the few that I'm proud of..anywhoot, thanks again.

You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

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