11.4.02 - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #6

11.4.02

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2002-11-04 05:19 PM

A dear John letter
to the world
a last smile, tainted
a good-bye kiss.
for a great pain.
numbness enfolds
the blood flows
off her skin
death is iminent
a slow fading of vision
distracting an everlasting
mistake.
how come she's lying there?
no one knows.
she didnt really want to die
she wanted love
her hands locked silently
a slumping then a tear
she is gone
but her mistake
plagued us
and it was all in
her dear john letter

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-11-04 09:26 PM

A wonderfully accurate exploration of the aftermath of such a situation. You captured the tragedy perfectly, Ina. Beautiful work.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-11-04 10:09 PM

by the way Ina... see the graphic that looks like this

above the topics list? And how it says "teen poetry challenge #2?" click on that and you'll get the challenge.

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

3 posted 2002-11-04 10:11 PM

Isnt that the case most of the time? Enjoyed muchly Regi, thanks deary

Are you scared? BOO! Are you now?

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

4 posted 2002-11-05 01:06 AM

This tragedy is expressed nicely...so many millions of dear john letters sent out into the world leaving unanswered questions and no one left to answer them. Thanks for the read!

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

aVriL lAvIgNe

clumsy
Member

since 2002-10-10

Posts 106
canada.

5 posted 2002-11-05 10:13 AM

this was lovely.

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