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Teen Poetry #6
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anawnda
Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113


0 posted 2002-10-31 06:15 AM




she's the girl with the white lilies
in her hair,
and she dances with the stars till they shine no more.
with her little hands and dirty feet
,empty eyes and a cold heart.

she said to me,
hey good girl why you standing down there?
come dance with the moonbeams
come swim with the tides
so I did

But I could not keep up with her
she moves too fast.
beautiful love child you're out of reach...

***

*ey guys, this is one of my old poems I put out for you to analyze and criticize, be gentle...


© Copyright 2002 anawnda - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2002-11-01 12:50 PM


this is... wow... this is just beautiful.  Whenever I truly enjoy a poem, after the first read I kinda make a face... hehe... like I lower one eyebrow and half smile... and that's how I can tell if I really, really enjoyed a poem.  I read this poem about three times, just because it's so splendid... the setup, the ending, all beautifully done.

Just wonderful work.  I have no criticism.  And I am pretty sure that this is the third one of your poems that I'm putting into my private library.

And I can guarantee I'm going to be reading this one again, today, this week, whenever..

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2002-11-01 12:50 PM


*click*
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2002-11-02 04:07 PM



anawnda~
I absolutely love this piece.
This is beautifully written and your imagery is wonderful.
VERY nicely penned.
~Vicky

P.S. Don't forget to check out Teen Challenge #2!

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2002-11-30 12:44 PM


Don't mind me - just adding the poet to my library
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
5 posted 2003-02-26 10:39 PM


I just read this again and realized it had almost no replies... so I'm replying again... get it?  

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » little flower

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