Teen Poetry #6 |
Lost Faith |
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
Salted drops mingle they congeal within my blood. Preserved by my own essence; skeletons deep in my closet. Wished to be cleaned let down by more than you. Prayed for by my own blood; pieces lost in my confusion. Damned by self-affliction I gave up the pretense of faith. Believed in something I didn't know; cautious of the beginning I seek. Deceived in my doubt slip into phase of shadows Bothered by scabs I bleed; warrants disbelieve until I let go. “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” |
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© Copyright 2002 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved | |||
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
"Damned by self-affliction I gave up the pretense of faith." Just like all good red wines, your poetry's matured Tiffers. Whether it be faith in a person or faith in a *shock**horror* god that you've lost, you'll restore your natual balance soon. Good write. Are you scared? BOO! Are you now? |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Tiff - I've said it before and I'll say it again - you get much better every time I read your work. I see you're starting to develop more definite themes in your writing, and are becoming more clear on what they are. Another thing I see, which is prominent in this piece especially, is the level of skill with which your techniques are executed. You can do so without shrouding or choking out your message, which was often the case in other works I've seen of yours. You're maturing very nicely as a writer, Tiffany. As for faith... sometimes it's important to ask yourself the question, what is truly important to you? Beneath it all, what has faith given you? On the other hand, what has enlightenment given you? You'll have to measure them up against one another in order to see what your true path is. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people Before you place your poetry before the people. ~Andrey Kneller [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (09-20-2002 10:01 AM).] |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
This is a very good write. I found the emotional imagery was written with wonderful sophistication. Well done, really. Michelle. ~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~ |
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LadyDracaWolf Member
since 2002-09-19
Posts 73CA |
Striking an emotional chord with me. I really don't know what to say besides that. Perhaps we all lose faith sometimes. Death is not extinguishing the light; |
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