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Teen Poetry #6

Alone

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-10-20 04:36 PM

dark corner
so dark
i shake
scared
why
you
simple and
why not
because you aren't
confusing
yes
even i
get worried
tv
color
hate
pain
torture
do you care
why should you
shaking
again
and again
and so forth you know the drill
open the door
hello
this is me

~*I'm not gonna say I'm gorgeous, that for you to decide, if you really wanna know me, see the world through my eyes*~

[This message has been edited by Riley (10-20-2002 09:18 PM).]

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-10-20 06:59 PM

Hey, nice! I found this...quite enjoyable! Do you write for "Haujobb" by any chance? Lol

E muja oui, "Hyweyr". Pavune E lyh raym ouin byeh, E ryja du kad ujan so ufh...

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2002-10-21 11:15 AM

I take "torture" written in the sense of a mental sort of torture...
I thought this poem was pretty dark, a bit morbid....hope all is well.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-10-21 01:03 PM

Truly incredible. You've so easily brought your own style into this form of poetry. I'm envious.

And I'm in love with how you closed the poem, with the one bulging italic line and the conclusion to compliment it.

Great work Riley, this is another one of my faves of yours.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

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