Teen Poetry #6 |
Good-bye To You |
Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
dust cradles envied hate from years tallied on the old walls height marks show age and beauty upon the old mansion that barely stands like a newborn child it totters back and forth swaying on the foundation of America old stairs creak and groan with weight applied by toys left so long ago dishes forgotten like the Titanic sit resting beside forks and spoons all coated with maggots and larva feeding off all left over food in rooms abundant beds lay motionless a thousand years or more of unsleepless nights make-up covers the counters of defense protecting them against all other egos water leaks through the the forgotten faults rotting the old boards of life it sits alone in the woods covered and shocked and once again alone for a thousand other years or more ~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~ |
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© Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
EleanorMoonbaby Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202England, UK |
Nice imagery, it reminded me of Great Expectations by Dickens.... Just the idea of that old lady, still in her wedding dress. Sorry, I'm being a snotty Literature student here.... Well done on this one Riley! Ellie *) "Last night, I had a dream that I went to the doctors, and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd spent thirty minutes in the [edited by moderator] waiting room"- S [This message has been edited by quietlydying (10-20-2002 07:33 PM).] |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
Wow! I really enjoyed this and loved how a got a clear distinct picture in my head. The great discription was amazing, i'm in awe. Hehe. YAY for you ~Laura~ |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Hey Everybody Thankies to you all for replying..... I'm so touched thanks a lot seriously!!!!!!! Riley ~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked it there. Thought you did well with this poem This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Why'd you remove your photo, Ri? I thought it was a really cool pic. As for the poem, well... it is really creative... I'm in love with the creaky house image... reminded me of one of those scary movies. Masterful imagery and strong vocabulary. Another Riley poem. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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