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EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

0 posted 2002-10-20 10:43 AM

Can I just say
A big, sarcastic
"THANKYOU"
For completely wrecking my perception of love.

You've managed to turn me into
Some sort of bitter man-hater
And I'm only 17.

I don't think it ever occurred to you
That I actually felt happy.
Then you changed it all
You didn't care that
I cried for you
Prayed for you
Bled for you.

Yeah, that's right.
I bled over you and you threw that blood into a bucket and poured it over me
(like Carrie at the prom).

Oh, and one more thing....

(i still love you).

"Last night, I had a dream that I went to the doctors, and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd spent thirty minutes in the [edited by moderator] waiting room"- S

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (10-20-2002 07:12 PM).]

NSnaomian
Member

since 2002-07-22

Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

1 posted 2002-10-20 11:22 AM

I don't think I like the line...I bled over you and you threw that blood into a bucket and poured it over me...too much. It's just a bit off what I thought you were going for.
You seemed to express feelings then went right to a grusome fact. Not so sure I liked that, but some others may love it.
Overall, I liked it and the way you expressed yourself truely. =-)
Yay!
~Laura~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2002-10-21 10:56 AM

I liked the sarcastic tone in the poem. The ending especially brought it out. The blood though, what's that about? Could you elaborate somewhat as to what the bucket of blood symbolizes?

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-10-21 12:56 PM

I LOVED the bucket of blood.

Mwahahhahaha...

well...

that is to say, I liked that line, it was the only one that really had some powerful visual angst to it. But I didn't like when you mentioned it was like Carrie. That was kind of lame.

Oh and man-haters, make me nervous...

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

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