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Teen Poetry #6

Downward Spiral

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

0 posted 2003-09-01 10:52 PM

      anD
         Over again, she
         Wonders if
        aNyone
         Would
        cAre that
       heR words
     are Deliberate -

     all Signs
         Point
         In her general
       diRection,
    but Air is
invisibLe.

[This message has been edited by Kandi (09-01-2003 10:53 PM).]

magic_612
Member

since 2003-07-31

Posts 190
NB, Canada

1 posted 2003-09-02 09:52 AM

really liked the way you had this poem laid out.. great job

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

2 posted 2003-09-02 10:29 PM

A little ify on the subject of the set up... I liked it, yet I thought it could be distracting. Aesthetics before absorption? Hmm..

The poem itself I liked a lot. It was very simple, but intense and impactful.. a sort of whisper.. a whisper carrying a secret that no one is ready to hear.

kudos for you.

jupiter.

the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots

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