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Teen Poetry #6

murdered fingers

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2003-09-02 07:34 PM

You gave up searching.
Your not the man I thought.
Shame on me.
I told myself gray was silver.
Blind to the texture of your skin.
Murdered fingertips,
running along every inch of this soil.
I thought you were me
'Cause you slept so close to my coffin.
It's okay. It's my fault.
Just cast aside my clumsy heart.
It's that melted color,
you know the one.
My veins are red, my blood is blue.
I'm not so human anymore.
Ever since I saw the truth...

[This message has been edited by Lexy (09-02-2003 07:35 PM).]

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

1 posted 2003-09-02 07:56 PM

My, oh my! This was EXTREMELY well written...VERY clever! I liked this poem A LOT! I could NEVER write something so well! GOOD job! Keep it up...

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

2 posted 2003-09-02 10:21 PM

"My veins are red, my blood is blue.
I'm not so human anymore.
Ever since I saw the truth..."

I think that was the strongest part of the poem... bringing the emotions/thoughts of the overall poem together.. murdered fingertips.. I really like that. Since we touch things with our fingers.. it enables them to touch us.. and sometimes there are consequences.

jupiter.

the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots

[This message has been edited by Jaime (09-02-2003 10:22 PM).]

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