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sixington
Member

since 2003-07-14

Posts 53
Utah

0 posted 2003-09-01 04:59 PM

Sometimes, I see the tears
Built past the breaking point.
Your clear blue eyes
Swim for shore,
For some place to land.

Sometimes,
Sometimes they think they find it.
They think retreating into
The water, losing all time.
Never getting better
Is the answer.

And my eyes follow.
I'll never know you,
if you don't get better
And i'll still cry
because i love you.
i love your red hair,
i love your blue eyes,
i love your writing,
the way you smoothly move the pen across the paper. i love the way you look past me
to the people i hang out with,
i love the way you hardly notice me.
I love the scars across your skin,
i love you.

But sometimes,
i wonder if i love you,
or the goddess i've
made you
in my head.

Goddesses don't kill themselves.
So you can't kill yourself,
my goddess.

This doesn't have much of a rhythm, but i guess i just needed to wirte about her. Its the third of my friends in the hospital after a suicide atampt ina year. I don't know. I just don't know.

Alnilam
Member

since 2003-07-04

Posts 75

1 posted 2003-09-01 06:39 PM

this was really powerful. well written and so deep. i can tell you really care about this person. i wish i had had someone care that much for me when i tried it. if u need someone to talk to, i think i can say i understand. :hug: email me if u want a friend

~*Alnilam*~
"The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood."

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

2 posted 2003-09-01 07:15 PM

This was really sad..But I liked this. alot. Very nicely done.

I hate everything about you!
Why do I love you?
You hate everything about me!
Why do you love me?~3 Days Grace

BrokenAngel
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA

3 posted 2003-09-03 01:37 PM

O my God....it may not have a rythm but it doesn't need one to hit you in just the right spot. You showed allot of feeling in this one. The comment at the end only added to it. Hope everything goes well. Great write!!

Read my work and read my thoughts
I'll go back into the night now
---Night Angel

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

4 posted 2003-09-03 04:09 PM

I really liked this poem, especially the line, "Goddesses don't kill themselves". Great write!

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

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