Teen Poetry #6 |
Suicide |
sixington Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 53Utah |
Sometimes, I see the tears Built past the breaking point. Your clear blue eyes Swim for shore, For some place to land. Sometimes, Sometimes they think they find it. They think retreating into The water, losing all time. Never getting better Is the answer. And my eyes follow. I'll never know you, if you don't get better And i'll still cry because i love you. i love your red hair, i love your blue eyes, i love your writing, the way you smoothly move the pen across the paper. i love the way you look past me to the people i hang out with, i love the way you hardly notice me. I love the scars across your skin, i love you. But sometimes, i wonder if i love you, or the goddess i've made you in my head. Goddesses don't kill themselves. So you can't kill yourself, my goddess.
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Alnilam Member
since 2003-07-04
Posts 75 |
this was really powerful. well written and so deep. i can tell you really care about this person. i wish i had had someone care that much for me when i tried it. if u need someone to talk to, i think i can say i understand. :hug: email me if u want a friend ~*Alnilam*~ |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
This was really sad..But I liked this. alot. Very nicely done. I hate everything about you! |
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BrokenAngel Member
since 2002-01-06
Posts 141Puryear, TN, USA |
O my God....it may not have a rythm but it doesn't need one to hit you in just the right spot. You showed allot of feeling in this one. The comment at the end only added to it. Hope everything goes well. Great write!! Read my work and read my thoughts |
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BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
I really liked this poem, especially the line, "Goddesses don't kill themselves". Great write! ~J.Lynn "In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..." |
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