Teen Poetry #6 |
![]() ![]() |
Why?! |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
dizzyblondeme Junior Member
since 2003-08-27
Posts 11NE, England |
I wrote this after my friend was discharged from hospital after taking an overdose last year. I think she's improving now although she doesn't talk about it. I know you're upset That you're hurting inside Why won't you let me help A thousand times I've tried You wont pick up your phone Or return my calls I'm sitting here crying Staring at these four walls I've got to know what you're doing I need to know you're safe I hate you being on your own Alone in this place Can't you see I'm worried Don't you know I'm scared I'm petrified you're hurting That the pain might have flared You mean the world to me Just let me what to do I want to help you cope Please, just let me help you You say you can trust no one But you can trust in me When you think the world's at its end Just look and there I'll be I want to understand it When you just want to die You've got so much going for you I just can't understand, Why? XxXx J xXxX |
||
© Copyright 2003 xXx Jade xXx - All Rights Reserved | |||
*Belabebeautiful*![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Very moving piece. I too know what it is like to watch someone you care about and want to help yet at the same time feel helpless because you don't understand the problem and they won't talk to you! Most frusterating!! You displayed that very well, a nice use of emotions throughout the piece and you did a good job at displaying confusion without the poem being confused..if that makes any sense! Overall Lovely write ~Live and Laugh~ The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again |
||
Jaime
Registered
MemberPosts 250 |
As being the one normally not returning the phone calls, popping the pills, and hiding my scars - this poem was an interesting twist on perspective. The thing is that she is/was probably asking herself the same thing... why? This was a good poem... expressive, nice flow. (Sometimes we just need two arms.) jupiter. the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots |
||
Manth88 Junior Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 45IL, USA |
Hey I like your poem, I also have a friend who has that problem. I care about her alot and she just doesn't understand. I like the poem b/c it is mutual to my feelings also. So great write hope to see more great poems. !^*Manth88*^! |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |