Teen Poetry #6 |
Desire. to Breathe |
Jaime
Registered
MemberPosts 250 |
Layers of fabric. the writings become blurred on her skin unwinding the only kind of heaven I know. Laying there so much to be and would be and maybe in my Choices. A kind of prayer my cells made into an art, like Sylvia and her fish scales sewn onto the wedding the desert the decidedly unknown He rolls me out onto a table (for three) to read. He seems to doubt. But I know. I know I want this just as much as those voices on my Father’s box humming drumming over the landscape black and green always stuck on extremes and I hear her say she doesn’t think this’ll end the way we’re used to so I’m somewhere between with spiders crawling out of my ears. a nest in there somewhere between because I want to breathe. everything 082303 the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots |
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© Copyright 2003 Jaime - All Rights Reserved | |||
gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
I've never read you, ever before, and now? i will be reading you more often. this took my breath. Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
This is true poetry. I was amazed as how this grew better with each line. Beautiful, slightly eery. I like your style, its refreshing. |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey, since your message says say whatever, i think i will lol. to be completely honest, i love your stuff. you've always been one of my favorite poets at PIP, even though it is always very difficult for me to interpret your pieces. i usually have to read them more then once, but it's always fun to do. thanks for sharin, as usual. -bergundy- no one can make you feel inferior, unless you let them.--eleanor roosevelt |
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poetik_punk New Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 8 |
uh wow that was pretty darn tight if you ask me. |
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SenSitiveSaLLy New Member
since 2003-08-24
Posts 5in an alternate universe |
wow... i find your style striking... i'll prolly stick in my mind all nite long. awesome write and i can't wait 2 read more of your work! wish there was something i could say or do, i can resist anything but temptation from you.. but i'd rather fall myself than let you drag me down. |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
I think this was the first time I've read your stuff, but I'll definetely be looking for it in the future. This was an awesome poem, I liked the style of it. Thanks for the read. "To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." -Donald Laird |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
I enjoyed the style used in this piece, I especailly liked the line breakes to emphasize certain words and trains of thought. Nicely done, striking poem and a lovely write. ~Live and Laugh~ The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again |
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