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Teen Poetry #6
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Jaime
Registered
Member
Posts 250


0 posted 2003-08-24 09:21 PM


Layers of fabric. the
writings become blurred
on her skin

unwinding

the only kind of heaven
I know. Laying there

so much to be and would
be and maybe in my
Choices. A kind of
prayer

my cells made
into an art, like Sylvia
and her fish scales

sewn onto the wedding
the desert the decidedly
unknown

He rolls me out
onto a table (for three)
to read. He seems

to doubt.

But I know. I know
I want this just as much as
those voices on my Father’s
box humming drumming
over the landscape

black and green
always stuck on extremes

and I hear her say
she doesn’t think this’ll end
the way we’re used to

so I’m somewhere between
with spiders crawling out
of my ears. a nest
in there

somewhere between

because I want to breathe.
everything

082303

the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots

jaime.

© Copyright 2003 Jaime - All Rights Reserved
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
1 posted 2003-08-24 09:29 PM


I've never read you, ever before, and now?

i will be reading you more often.

this took my breath.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
2 posted 2003-08-24 11:27 PM


This is true poetry. I was amazed as how this grew better with each line. Beautiful, slightly eery. I like your style, its refreshing.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
3 posted 2003-08-25 12:26 PM


hey,
since your message says say whatever, i think i will lol.  to be completely honest, i love your stuff. you've always been one of my favorite poets at PIP, even though it is always very difficult for me to interpret your pieces.  i usually have to read them more then once, but it's always fun to do. thanks for sharin, as usual.
-bergundy-

no one can make you feel inferior, unless you let them.--eleanor roosevelt

poetik_punk
New Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 8

4 posted 2003-08-25 03:09 PM


uh wow that was pretty darn tight if you ask me.
SenSitiveSaLLy
New Member
since 2003-08-24
Posts 5
in an alternate universe
5 posted 2003-08-25 10:20 PM


wow... i find your style striking... i'll prolly stick in my mind all nite long. awesome write and i can't wait 2 read more of your work!

wish there was something i could say or do, i can resist anything but temptation from you.. but i'd rather fall myself than let you drag me down.

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
6 posted 2003-08-26 09:55 AM


I think this was the first time I've read your stuff, but I'll definetely be looking for it in the future. This was an awesome poem, I liked the style of it. Thanks for the read.

"To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." -Donald Laird

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
7 posted 2003-08-26 01:37 PM


I enjoyed the style used in this piece, I especailly liked the line breakes to emphasize certain words and trains of thought. Nicely done, striking poem and a lovely write.
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

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