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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Your Box |
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Krystin18 Junior Member
since 2003-01-19
Posts 20Ontario, Canada |
Run, Hit, Smash, Wall one, Tormented mind, Memories of you. Run, Hit, Smash, Wall two, Crying, lifeless eyes, Tears spilt over you. Run, Hit, Smash, Wall three, Fading smile and laughter, Results caused by lies. Run, Hit, Smash, Wall four, Rapidly dying soul, Heart torn to pieces by you. This is my life, Incased by your box, Repeat. Round Two [This message has been edited by Krystin18 (08-22-2003 04:21 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Krystin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Android 18 Member
since 2002-02-20
Posts 61Austrailia (My DreamLand) |
Whoa... I like that poem. It's short and right to the point. Done very nicely. "You think you have won, you think all is well, but kiss my green ass, I'll see you in hell" - The Grinch |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
I likied this a lot. The second and fourth stanzas were my favorite. Good job. "To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." -Donald Laird |
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sixington Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 53Utah |
I really liked your use of repitition. you had a great rhythm and everything was just right, the round two, really made me see it. nice write! ~ Amanda |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
th progressions at the end of each stanza made this poem what it is. the repetion at the beginnings set it up. nice job buildin this one. jeremy Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love. |
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yankees01rugby Junior Member
since 2003-08-13
Posts 48USA |
nice write! i can relate to this poem right now alot. i dont know about you but i almost did "run, hit, smash," the walls in my house. Love is like quicksand, the deeper you fall the harder it is to get out |
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