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wicka_basket
Junior Member

since 2003-08-11

Posts 12

0 posted 2003-08-11 11:14 PM

Partys, Alcohole, music, hugs.
Fashion, boys, Beach and drugs.
A teenage world you will never know,
You were here once, but the world, it grows.
It's different now then it use to be
You will never understand, dont you see?
This is my world please dont accuse,
We are so young and so confused.
We are living life how we want to,
what is the point in life, if you dont do what you want to do?
Well if i die tomorow,You will know i was having fun,
Stop telling me what i do is wrong.
I just want to live, the way that i do,
and if it doesnt hurt, why should i change it for you?

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

1 posted 2003-08-12 01:29 PM

I loved this one, one that I think all of us can relate to during our teenage life, nice work

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

sixington
Member

since 2003-07-14

Posts 53
Utah

2 posted 2003-08-12 02:22 PM

I liked this, but i think you could have worded some things better. I also think that some of the things you mentioned do hurt, but overall it was good, and easy to relate to.

T-Bird
Junior Member

since 2003-07-02

Posts 17
Washington, United States

3 posted 2003-08-13 04:52 AM

This was an awesome piece. i loved it, because i can kinda relate to that in some of the aspects. i totally know what your are saying.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

4 posted 2003-08-17 04:11 AM

hmm, pretty decent. i enjoyed the overall message of the piece. i am pretty big on funk you poems though lol and that is what this classifies as in my book. good job, but maybe watch the spelling errors? that is just some weird thing i have so don't worry 'bout it.

-bergundy-

no one can make you feel inferior, unless you let them.--eleanor roosevelt

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

5 posted 2003-08-17 10:48 AM

Ooo. I like this. It's quite simple, but I believe that's what makes it so good. I often feel like this, as well. My parents are always lecturing me, grounding me, yelling at me for something. Maybe you weren't talking about parents in this...but that's what I gathered from it. Either way...this poem is awesome! Very nice write you have here.

"I would sleep forever, if it meant I'd never stop dreaming..."

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