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Teen Poetry #6

Chance

layla
Member

since 2000-11-19

Posts 74

0 posted 2003-08-01 08:06 PM

Your love
was a once in a life time chance
Your love; (my love) was more than a romance
my heart breaks just thinking of you
My love; your love is my only truth
feelings overwhelm me
and my thoughts hit the sky
sadness is what owns me
when I think of our good bye
Oh my love please stay
I dont know what more to say
my heart and soul both burn
waiting for your return

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2003-08-01 08:22 PM

This was good. I think it could have been made more original less cliche'. I really liked this line: feelings overwhelm me and my thoughts hit the sky. great line! Just center around lines that make an impact and image. Good job.
~Lex..

Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member

since 2003-02-19

Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2003-08-13 09:55 PM

I enjoyed this ,

"sadness is what owns me
when I think of our good bye"

Strong and true

thank-you for sharing your thoughts

Tequilia

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

3 posted 2003-08-15 03:28 PM

This poem was short and sweet. A bit cliche...but that can be refreshing every now and then.

"I would sleep forever, if it meant I'd never stop dreaming..."

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

4 posted 2003-08-16 01:24 AM

NICE!!! Really nice! It's kind of like you were reading my emotions. Great write! Yep, another one for the library! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

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