Sweet Briar Rose (a sonnet)

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IndigoEve
Member

since 2003-01-10

Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time

0 posted 2003-07-30 04:44 PM

Did I do this right? lol

Oh ye summer skies, filled with fragranced love!
Bid not for me to stay and worship you,
For your soul is e'er trimmed in fair French blue,
And bleeding with these lies, so undreamed of.
I remember impassioned nights of wind,
Where transparent fingers wove through pale hair;
My gently tainted heart, so unaware,
Of the ways I ne'er delicately sinned.
Lead me into these fields of soft dreaming,
To be had but a death, oh eloquent!
See it painted through words, most elegant;
Whilst, in suffering, life is redeeming.
So faint and so mild, I stole creation,
Sweet briar rose 'twas I, 'fore damnation.

For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.--"Romeo and Juliet"

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

1 posted 2003-07-31 12:28 PM

ohhh my god...this is just amazing...see why can't I write something like this

enjoyed...to the top with ye!!

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

2 posted 2003-07-31 02:21 PM

*hatred laughs like french man and remembers the days of hamlet in mrs phillips class* good onnnneeeeeee.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

3 posted 2003-07-31 03:19 PM

Amazing! Absolutely amazing! I AM at a loss for words! Great write, this is goin' in my library! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

Magicmystery
Senior Member

since 2002-02-13

Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2003-07-31 09:51 PM

Just thought I could steal a peek into the nursery...LOL (I'm only kidding, but it's been a while since I was a teen...)

I was blown away by this. There isn't a line I don't connect with. Remembering 1986 like it was yesterday... and the warm nights that found us in fields.... too much information. I think I know where you were going with this...

You did it right.... you followed a b b a like a roadmap but much more, you brought these words to life....

Alright.... I'm going.... back to comment on some of the stuff us adults write.... but it's like comparing a candle to a flame thrower here.

Excellent Work!

Sherry
Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today.

Song_for_Serenity
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 97
USA

5 posted 2003-07-31 10:18 PM

This was beautiful. I don't know what else to say. Anyhoo, have a spiffy day!
Sealed with a

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

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