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BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

0 posted 2003-07-23 10:27 AM

Silent echoes of thunder in the distance
Black clouds soon smother the sky
The air becomes chiller and harsh as it blows
Mother Nature's wondrous gift will soon arrive

Tears of the heavens soon shed to the ground
Leaving potholes as puddles of rain
And instead of the sun beaming down from above
The beauty of lightning spreads the earth

The leaves of the trees sparkle brilliantly
As the flash catches the drops of water like a picture
The thunder now rolls with more urgency
The rain now pounding harder against the asphalt

It's a race to be louder, fast, more significant
As the rain, lightning and thunder join as one
Hours on end they battle away
Until finally the storm does cease

Silent echoes of thunder in the distance
Blue sky starts to peek through the clouds
The air becomes soothing and peaceful as it blows
Mother Nature's wondrous gift will soon arrive*

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

[This message has been edited by BabieDoll (07-23-2003 10:53 AM).]

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2003-07-23 02:11 PM

JLynne~
It was a pleasure to read such a lovely piece~

'Tears of the heavens soon shed to the ground'

That gentle thought is softly original and the imagery of the entire piece is very good~

Thank you for dropping in on a couple of my pieces and leaving such nice replies~
Come on down to the Corner Pub once in a while and post one with us ... the forum moves slower than the Open Forums ... but has loyal readers and posters who will enjoy what you write~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Munda
Member Elite

since 1999-10-08

Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

2 posted 2003-07-23 05:26 PM

I hardly ever visit the Teen Forum, but since you used exactly the same title I once used for a poem, I couldn't resist and boy am I glad I opened this topic! It was a great pleasure to read your poem.

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

3 posted 2003-07-24 01:03 AM

ha ha. excellent write. you are quickly becoming one of my favorite poets.

[This message has been edited by dertah (07-24-2003 01:03 AM).]

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

4 posted 2003-07-25 02:26 AM

I am impressed with this visual aid with the writing. The winds blows in my face and I feel the raging fight over the rain and thunder. Delightful and always a pleasure reading your work.

NJS

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

5 posted 2003-07-25 07:37 PM

Amazing, beautiful write.
I've tried once or twice to write about lightning storms, but it never came out quite right.
Your poem described them perfectly.
Once again, beautiful.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

6 posted 2003-07-31 12:40 PM

I would've copied and pasted my favorite part but I like it all the same! AH, this was stunning! Great work, hun! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

katherine
Member

since 2000-06-10

Posts 365
Canberra Australia

7 posted 2003-07-31 06:18 AM

thats beautifuly awesome

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

8 posted 2003-07-31 03:51 PM

Wow...I really liked this one. It flowed very well...and I liked how you started and ended with the same stanza. Nice touch! Hehe. I really like this. You normally don't write anything that has to do with nature, and I think a little change is always good. Nice job. I like this. Love's.

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

9 posted 2003-08-01 01:04 AM

I've read quite a few of your poems and you are one tallented girl! I absolutly adore this piece for the imagery that it brought to my mind. I also happen to be a bit of a nature freak and thunder storms happen to be one of my favorites! I especailly enjoyed how you started out with "mother nature's wonderus gift will soon arrive" and went on to tell of the lightning storm and then in the end showed a lightening of the mood as if it were to be sunny soon and then ended with the same frase, it really showed how everything in nature is beautiful and I couldn't have put it better if I tried. Lovely write
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

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