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collarbone_girl
Junior Member

since 2003-07-14

Posts 45
Wonderland

0 posted 2003-07-27 04:57 PM

after writing a tree house of poems
and crying a glasshouse of tears
i have come to the conclusion
that i have no conclusion at all
i look at potential houses with you
(although i wouldn't share an oven with you)

i tell you how much i want to be with you forever

(although i dont see us together in a month)
we look at rings together, big shinee rings
(although your love wouldnt fit round my little finger)
so my conclusion is
i don't know if i love you anymore....

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2003-07-27 05:15 PM

wow...the truth. I loved how truthful this was. I liked the first two lines, kept me reading.
~Lex

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

2 posted 2003-07-27 05:18 PM

this was unexpected from what the title was, but a great poem none-the-less. i liked the metaphors you used....nice work!

riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

3 posted 2003-07-27 09:36 PM

hatred says, "owwww, and the world cumbles apart."

kj
Junior Member

since 2003-07-28

Posts 15
Australia

4 posted 2003-07-28 06:20 AM

this is filled with sadness
it's an awesome poem so well written

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

5 posted 2003-07-28 07:22 AM

Hmmm..ouch. Well if this is a true story, good luck, love is complicated.

JC

"Now I'm convinced that he's heaven sent, and must be out of his mind- mama he's crazy, crazy over me."

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

6 posted 2003-07-28 11:53 AM

Wow...I really loved this. Especially the first two lines. They were amazing, and definitely kept my interest through-out the whole thing. But God...This poem...is...amazing. You have a certain style of poetry that I've never read before. And I love it. Awesome. I'm definitely going to be looking at more of your work. Nice job!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

7 posted 2003-07-28 06:39 PM

wow. that was really good. unique use of objects and representation, showing a lot of thought and good word choice. that was honestly a very good poem.

~cassi

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