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Teen Poetry #6

Sometimes, All the time

Paragon
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 114

0 posted 2003-07-26 01:36 PM

Sometimes **** hits the fan
Sometimes Im pulling all I can
Sometimes Im fighting for who I am

Could you give me a hand
Sometimes I can't do this on my own

Sometimes I need you to smile
Sometimes I need this to feel worthwhile
Sometimes I need you stay a while

Is it too much to ask for you to try?
Sometimes I don't want to have to ask why

Sometimes nothing feels right
Sometimes I can't focus my sight
Sometimes I can't sleep at night

Possibly, could we just get along
Sometimes I don't want this to feel wrong

Sometimes I can't get away from everything I hate
Sometimes I arrive just a little too late
Sometimes I feel I'm fighting the inevitable... fate.

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

1 posted 2003-07-26 01:46 PM

mmmm, the last line was a bit cliche, ( forgive my spelling ) , but overall, the poem was really good. the title was awesome, and i liked it because you didn't mention all the time in your poem so, it made ya think ( which i don't do that often so ya know, anything help in thinking is appreciated

) good poem

riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

2 posted 2003-07-26 04:00 PM

WOW-EEE!!! This poem IS spectacular! I couldn't help myself by reading through it a second time.

"Sometimes Im fighting for who I am..."
That line really hit home for me. Seems like I'm fighting against myself at times. Thanks for the read! This honestly made me think...! ~Jess

PS- I'm gonna put this in my library!

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

Rise of Truth
Member

since 2003-07-12

Posts 59
Beneath the Fury Sun

3 posted 2003-07-27 01:08 AM

Honestly, i don't normally enjoy poems contructed on a repetitiive frame, but this was just...cute, or something. I don't know.

Listen deep, ye product of fleshs sinned! Forget mystery! For i am a thing deeper still.

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

4 posted 2003-07-27 02:24 AM

nice write.

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