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Teen Poetry #6
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HomieX
Junior Member
since 2003-07-24
Posts 10


0 posted 2003-07-24 02:05 PM



No one can understand me
No one can feel the same as I do
The feeling that people all around me, really don’t see me
Walk by me without out stretched hand of hope
I can’t do anything to stop this
It’s taking me over


Day in day out, night till morning, a dark cloud covers my eyes, Thoughts and feelings
Caged in by lack of light
Fear drives my life, drives it straight down
Soon I’ll be nothing, oh
Maybe that’s what I need to be
Live a life with no life


There will always be this fear to stop me from finding my way
I hold my head to the ground; cry out to God to take it all away
Maybe he can’t understand me either
I try to break down a wall to freedom, but my fear grabs me back with tightened thoughts.
I fear I’m not good enough for this world
I fear truth is against me


I can’t fight this fear anymore
Life ain’t so wonderful when you hate what you are
Fearing everything in life
Where is my peace that I long for, this fear is what I have
Beaten down by a world so hate filled
Look at me now, look at me now
I am nothing, nothin


Day in day out, night till morning, a dark cloud covers my eyes, Thoughts and feelings
Caged in by lack of light, fear.
Why do I hurt this way, have to fallow this road to never ending pain
God now I have become something that has no meaning
I lay to rest my rusted hart


This fear drives my life, drives it straight down
Soon I’ll be nothing, oh
Maybe that’s what I need to be
Live a life with no life
Fallen down, fallen down to stay.
Caged in by lack of light
Freedom can’t be found

© Copyright 2003 HomieX - All Rights Reserved
OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

1 posted 2003-07-24 10:21 PM


this was unique... it had a lot of emotion and I can tell you mean what you say. It didn't keep my attention the whole way through but that's probably just because I'm singing with Sister Hazel right now... anyhoo, nice work. its genuine and sincere, and no one can ask for more.

~cassi

Silent Evincar
Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179
Here There and Places Between
2 posted 2003-07-25 12:54 PM


I Loved it!! Great, emotional,pleading, asking,realizing... are all you need in this piece huh? Well in the midst of it all there seems to be a little too much. I liked the reference to fear but was used to an extent. In the end though it did bring out the only way to live life....

                         NJS

HomieX
Junior Member
since 2003-07-24
Posts 10

3 posted 2003-07-25 01:14 AM


Ok thanks guys. That was one of my first writes. Im 17 so i havent been doing this long. Thanks for the input. I see what you mean by useing fear too much... Thanks again
Peeps-Peter
Junior Member
since 2003-07-19
Posts 14

4 posted 2003-07-25 12:18 PM


this was a very sad, emotional poem. I loved it...very good.
~Peter...

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