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Teen Poetry #6

Sweet...

Gabkicks
Junior Member

since 2003-06-04

Posts 13

0 posted 2003-07-21 08:31 PM

He wants a sense of purpose
A reason to live
Something to get up for
something worthy to give

He wants a sense of self-value
Remembering mystakes he wont repeat
To feel the so callled vigor of youth
To feel more than utter defeat.

To fight back thoughts of hopelessness
How he feels so incomplete
when life tastes so bitter, death smells so sweet
(what do u think.. i know it's repetitive)

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2003-07-21 08:35 PM

not really repetitive. I liked it personally. Its an interesting angle to write from. I really liked the last line. It was a great poem.
welcome,
~Lex..

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

2 posted 2003-07-21 09:23 PM

ok wow!! Stand back and bow!! I adore this piece! Not repetiitive at all and so short yet so impacting!! The last line is just like a blow to the nervious system and the brain its excellent!!
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

3 posted 2003-07-21 09:44 PM

and the soul is read aloud by a stranger.

Gabkicks
Junior Member

since 2003-06-04

Posts 13

4 posted 2003-07-22 03:25 AM

if only i could write positive poetry...

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