My lifes on repeat - pipTalk Forums

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Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2003-07-17 05:29 PM

I walk down the street, slowly..
attempting to combat this spinning my head.
I find I'm slipping and falling all over myself.
Mouths are moving but I can't hear them speaking.
Their eyes are everywhere even though they're not looking.
I can't defeat this feeling of despair,
Its my air.
And its so hard to breath,
knowing your getting nowhere.
I'm down, its late.
There's one light on, piercing the peace.
Screeching in this silence for some release.
Wanting someone to notice this nothingness.
But its their air, and they're breathing in.
Perfectly.
I lie here, in sin. Waiting for my punishment.
This feeling is burning wholes through my heart.
Destroying my ability to love.
I'm wanting you. Needlessly.
Better to waste the hours away in thought than in silence.
Maybe then I'll come to some conclusion.
I've got this song on repeat.
Walking, a lone soul...
down the street.
My head turned down.
Looking for something still unfound.
I'm dying in this despair.
Its my air.
Listening to the melody of this inconstant breathing.
I'm falling all over myself.
Making the same mistakes over.
My lifes on repeat.
My hearts iced over, its July.
I lie awake tonight.
Because you fill my mind.

[This message has been edited by Lexy (07-18-2003 10:52 PM).]

Magia_negra
Member

since 2003-07-16

Posts 77
CA, USA

1 posted 2003-07-17 08:10 PM

Your poem made me think of myself some time ago, wandering round the streets aimlessly, watching life, lonely, hopelessly in love... It moved me, maybe cuz i can relate to it.
* * *

...somos los locos para siempre
para siempre te amo
mi vida...

Toasty
Member

since 2003-06-09

Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin

2 posted 2003-07-17 08:50 PM

Powerful,emotional,wow... a great poem.
Keep up the good work!

~toasty

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength." -Francis de Sales.

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

3 posted 2003-07-18 03:10 PM

Well done lex-
I could truly relate to this, really well written. Enjoyed.

Tomer

AngelShell
Member

since 2000-03-01

Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...

4 posted 2003-07-18 10:47 PM

I really liked the imagery here, it was well expressed and poetically clear.

Just watch the Homonyms such as Their/They're.

It was a great read.
Well done.

~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

5 posted 2003-07-18 10:52 PM

thanks. I fixed that..

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