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Teen Poetry #6
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By Firelight
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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By Firelight |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Ok, yet another to add to the list..I don't know the last few I've done I just really thought haven't been up to snuff so to speak but I thought this one was really sweet, tell me what you think! I look at you, staring at me Holding my hand by firelight Your Pinochio nose and Coffie flavored lips show the character I seek you speak of your goals of a future untold and show me the things of your dreams You heartily tell me of your love for the hunt with your bow so strong and so true and you sigh with quiet happiness as I tell my dreams to you you playfully remember a memory past where you galloped amongst the trees and the look on your face I'll never forget when I told you I too, did such things Your obediant warmth seeped into my core As by the glow of the fire we sat looking upon a nightime sky waiting for a shooting star to pass We spoke of the things that bring simple pleasures Like the trees in the fall and our favorite drink We talked of songs and life and of love and through this our souls were linked we watched the first rays of the sun peek over the mountains so bright and I looked at you, staring at me... holding my hand ...by firelight The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again |
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| © Copyright 2003 Bella - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
hmmm..I wasn't really feeling it at first..but when I started getting to the end, I found myself liking it. It was really cute. ~Lex  |
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Kaydo Junior Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 17Washington, USA |
Once again your work amazes me. I'll agree with the above post in sayin that the end is definatly stronger then the beginning. I still loved the poem, it definatly had meaning behind it  . Best of luck with your "stupid" boy hun. Your honey bear.Work like you don't need the moeny, dance like no one is watching, Sing like your all alone, and love like you've never been hurt. |
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Shlee Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 72USA |
I LOVE this. I must agree with the others that the end is much more capturing than the beginning but it's great. It really moved my heart |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
wow, I was just rereading this and I realized how much I really cannot spell!! Heh..oh well!! As always your comments are much appreaciated! I agree with you all in saying that the beging is weak..but I haven't been writing very well lately for some wierd reason so what do you do right? heh..thanks again for all your kind replies! ~Live and Laugh~ The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again ~Bella~ [This message has been edited by *Belabebeautiful* (07-17-2003 11:56 PM).] |
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Song_for_Serenity Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97USA |
Hey babe! Beautiful poem. I really enjoyed it. And like others said, beginning was weaker than the end, but it was still a good read. Sorry I didn't reply sooner, I read it the first time you posted it, but you know me and technology. Heh.. it rhymed, I could be Dr. Suess... Anyhoo, have a spiffy day! ~Angela |
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