Teardrops ( My VERY First Poem! )

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BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

0 posted 2003-07-14 09:53 AM

Teardrops
Falling gently down my cheeks
Caressing me while I lay in bed
Thinking of you
Wishing you were here holding me so tightly
Never wanting to let go

Teardrops
Flowing out so fast
As if to never stop
As I feel your on last sweet kiss
Before you say good-bye
Forever

Teardrops
I can barely see anything
I am crying too hard
As you shut the door
All I can manage to whisper
Is 'I love you'

Teardrops
I don't know what to do now
You were my life
I loved you with all my heart
But fate tore us apart
And ruined our love

Teardrops
Falling gently down my cheeks
Lasting for hours and hours
Thinking of you
Wishing you would walk in the door
And hold me, never letting go
And whisper in my ear
'I love you'

Teardrops*

~I wrote this in the seventh grade,I guess, right before I turned 13. I wrote this and one other poem and didn't write again until I was probably in the 9th grade. So, I'd love to hear what you think! *grins*~

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

Rise of Truth
Member

since 2003-07-12

Posts 59
Beneath the Fury Sun

1 posted 2003-07-14 01:49 PM

Huh.
It's cute in a little girl kinda way. Which makes a lot of sense. Now, about honesty...*honestly* it's everything i would have expected from a 12-13 yr old girl. Though it seems rather coherent and develuped for that age range. That's a complement, btw.

I am the prophet
Harbinger of what you fear the most
Your enemy of belligerent honesty
Destroyer of your livelihood, built on falsehood

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

2 posted 2003-07-14 08:20 PM

good job, i started writing when i was twelve, and now at thirten i think i sucked back then. my perception of everything is a bit naive maybe, but everybody says i mature for my age, roll my eyes and laugh..

ri

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

3 posted 2003-07-17 10:28 PM

Ha...I remember reading this! That's wild. I've read this quite a few times. Oh geez...how things change. LoL. I also think this sounds quite mature for a 12-13 year old girl. But your writing has DEFINITELY matured...by far. And I'm sure you know that! LoL. I often go back and read some of my first poems...they seem so crappy. Not that my poems now are great or anything...but my old ones are just so...stupid. LoL. Well anyway, I like this and always have. Nice job, girly. Love's.

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

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