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Teen Poetry #6

Past Present and Future

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

0 posted 2003-07-16 01:19 AM

The sound of his voice strikes a chord,
feeling something only he can give me,
with a simple call the past comes into play.

His lively blue eyes look straight through me,
experiencing something exciting and new,
the present has me siting on the edge of my seat.

Forced to choose between the past and the present
has me looking for the futrue.

* I'm no where near done, but I'm stuck @ this point . . . Any Suggestions? *

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

1 posted 2003-07-16 10:30 AM

I really like the beginning but I'm not sure what you should add, I'm sure it will turn out to be a great poem when finished

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

2 posted 2003-07-16 10:44 PM

hmmm...I liked what you had as the end. It was a good ending statement. Great piece.
~Lex

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