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Teen Poetry #6
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The lost.......but never forgotten
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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The lost.......but never forgotten |
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confusedwriter03 New Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 9U-S-A! haha |
Can I just say....I lost one of my best guy friend's this year in a snowboarding accident. i took it really hard.....feel free to say good or bad comments i dont get easily offended heh! *Nightmare of Reality* I wanted to wake up from this nightmare, even if I woke up scared. I just couldn't take all the pain, and I didn't want to say God's name in vain. What kind of nightmare is this? Taking away someone I will always miss. I can still hear his voice in my head, thinking of all the precious things he said. I don't like this nightmare, because I can't understand, Why is my best friend grabbing God's hand? In my head, this nightmare I will keep, because I never woke up, I was never asleep. ~*~Krista~*~ |
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| © Copyright 2003 Krista K. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I'm sorry for your loss.. Great write/read, hope all is well .. and Welcome  |
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Cinderelly Member
since 2001-12-31
Posts 189NM, USA |
I love the lines: "In my head, this nightmare I will keep, because I never woke up, I was never asleep." Great poem and welcome! |
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confusedwriter03 New Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 9U-S-A! haha |
oh thanks! those are my favorite lines too. haha two people and you both say welcome im like what do they mean? i was all oooh i get it im the new girl! its all good thanks again. *its all good in the hood* ~*~Krista~*~ |
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
Well, I'll make it three saying welcome to piptalk. It's always nice to have new people come with their own unique writing styles and opinions. The poem is nicely done... the way you've fit the words together makes it flow well. However, some serious work could be done on staying within a meter. Try counting the syllables in each line - if they're more than a couple off, it's going to make it pretty hard to read. Keep on writing! -Lioness [This message has been edited by blueyedlioness (06-30-2003 12:22 PM).] |
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frolicking dolphin Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268my own special world |
Welcome, based on that I can't wait to read more of your work, you used so much emotion in it with a very difficult subject to display exactly how you feel. Nice work! ~*~Karen~*~ |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
The title really caught my attention. Very good poem, I know what your going through, I have a long distance friend who is very sick the doctors don't know what's wrong and I haven't heard from him for quite a while. Im so afraid that he's gone. Once again good job of puting your feeling into words. Well done. WinterWren |
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confusedwriter03 New Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 9U-S-A! haha |
Thanks. I enjoyed reading all of your comments...and ill work on the syllable thing umm all such nice people here! lol i cant wait to read more every day hopefully i can come across some of your guys work too. thanks again i guess i should stop posting in my own topic! haha later. |
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chicken Junior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 44 |
i lost a friend (well classmate) in a tragic accident not so long ago i feel for u and your poem is a brilliant read im sure your friend would be proud! those lines are my favourite to!!!!! |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
*hatred mourns for you* |
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