Passchendale with tree bursts.

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Teen Poetry #6

Passchendale with tree bursts.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2003-06-24 06:39 PM

Passchendale with tree bursts.

Silence in the swirling mist
beneath the dark towers of hell
the biting cold of dragons teeth
strangling warmth from every breath
before the dim light fades away
then a mighty hellish roar
in the darkest shadows does awake
the death factory with it’s dirty work
then thunder beats upon the ground
and a murderous hail falls to earth
to lighten up the darkest holes
with fiery rain from barking beast
that reaps and slaughters mortal man
before the wall of dragons teeth.

even kittens can kill

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

1 posted 2003-06-24 08:00 PM

Nicely done... as everything of yours I've seen.

-Lioness

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

2 posted 2003-06-24 09:41 PM

I'm glad to see you back again. I missed reading your work. I liked this piece as usual. Thanks for sharing Zu.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

3 posted 2003-06-25 05:27 PM

Thank you both for your replies, they are much appreciated.

Andrew

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

4 posted 2003-06-26 01:20 AM

You know, I'm sure I missed something in this, it's probably way over my head as usual, but... I like the imagery that this gave me, it further intensified my feelings of wanting-to-be-able-to-write-like-that (I typed all that with one hand...lol). I have no constructive criticism of your work, punctuation, language, spelling, etc... I apologize, maybe next time I won't be so tired. Keep writing, or I'll smack you upside the head with a feather or something equally painful.

It is said the Creator has taken a handful of South Wind and given each newborn Arabian the power of flight without wings

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