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Teen Poetry #6
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Thinking while being subjected to the metaphorical hierarchy of adolescence
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Teen Poetry #6
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Thinking while being subjected to the metaphorical hierarchy of adolescence
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Thinking while being subjected to the metaphorical hierarchy of adolescence |
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Paragon Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 114 |
Amidst the floating debri of refracted speech and hormonal imbalance Through the hisses and stares from calloused beings who are as lost as he Above the clawing demons who are ever falling and like to drag people down with them Below the condescending angels who are flying above by piling social body-bags below them Behind the over-achievers who read, study, push, prod, turn, shake and squirm for attention In front of the slackers who lay back with nothing better to do but kill brain cells and complain He sits, contemplating his life, and what he will make of himself. |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is excellent, adolescence captured perfectly!!!  I'm very very impressed that you manage it so strikingly and in such a short space of time, you manage to say it all.....  Luv, Liz xxx "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
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Halcyon Junior Member
since 2003-04-10
Posts 43Arizona, USA |
Everything in this is very true. Life as a teen can be quite chaotic. Where do we fit in? Are we those calloused beings? The condescending angels? Or just another slacker? Only by thinking ourselves can we know who we really are. Btw, your titles are great! |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Beautifully written!! I absolutly loved the metaphors! Anyone who has gone through this can relate to this poem. Wonderfully expressed..one of my favorites that I've read from you! ~Live and Laugh~ Always strive for excellence never perfection. |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
Your grasp of the obvious never ceases to amaze me. Really. I'm not sure how you do it, but you always manage to say make me think about stuff without having a really long poem. I commend you.  Oh yeah, aI agree that your titles are really cool.-Jen If you listen hard enough silence can mean more than words. |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Below the condescending angels who are flying above by piling social body-bags below them GREAT line... I loved this and was very impressed. I like how with the last line, "he" seems to forget about comparisons between himself and everyone else and focuses on where he's going and who he is. I think we all get too caught up in where we stand in the social scheme of things and forget to stand on our own. Excellent write. Thanks for sharing. ~Kay Just wanna be funny,looks like the joke's on me. |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
that was grate reminds me of a lot of people i know even myself good post |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
truly enlightening. very nice work. |
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Song_for_Serenity Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97USA |
Heh.. this was great. I don't have much I can say other than that. Have a spiffy day! ~Angela |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
yes...very, very well done. I admire your ability to see things for how they really are, and make a consciuos decision not to be a part of it all. Amazing poem.. ~Lex |
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Thinking while being subjected to the metaphorical hierarchy of adolescence
