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Teen Poetry #6
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12/11/01
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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12/11/01 |
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lil cherry Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86Ont, Can. 
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The world is spinning Everything is a blur I need to get this jumble out of my mind Smash, they are still there No, stay out of my way I need to make things better It must go away Make it stop, the noises, the thoughts, all the mess in my mind All a jumble, confusion You can’t help me, get out of the way Walls, cement, floors, anything hard My head needs to come in contact with them There is fire behind my eyes Everything hurts, and yet I feel nothing What will make it go away Banging, smashing, pain Pain keeps me alive, keeps me going Nothing, empty, silent, death, life, pain They are all a big jumble I try to fit the pieces back together To make them make sense again I am too far-gone now Nothing helps; nothing will stop the battle in my head A battle with no drawn sides Everything fighting everything else Inferno, fire and blood Pounding and silent I can’t escape this misery This, hell Silence, Silence so dead it could kill me all over again Help, but stay away I need to smash I need to kill Destroy my thoughts, make them stop This torture will never end Tears, sweat, blood…floor Anything to take over my head, my brain It’s dark, black, gone But shining, bright and painful to the eyes New beginnings are not now, but repeating the past A mess, a jumble, confusion, a hole, I’m lost I can’t escape Take away my body, for my mind is already gone Leaving, dieing since the day I was born Something stop this, pounding, screaming, crashing It’ll end, it’ll stop Tell me I’m right Tell me it’s over Over…… |
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| © Copyright 2003 Angel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
theres emotion all over this poem, pain...yes, but most of all i think that there is no know of ones self. creating pain physical definitely gets rid of pain, it is the easiest way of not only getting rid of mental pain but the thoughts and memories that one is and isn’t aware of. I’m sure you’ve herd this before but it’s not the best way and you can trust me it creates more pain in the future and begins a vicious cycle that is hard to break. all i have to say is find another way. as for improvement you seem to the connection between you and your poetry down really good... hummm you seem the get a point across really well but bye repeating it, it takes away from what is being read i hope this betters you. i like the poem all together there was a little difficulty in the read but i like the personal feeling that comes from it keep writing i'll look for more as often as i can [This message has been edited by Deep_Inside (07-07-2003 03:38 AM).] |
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infinite disaster Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69Illinois |
a lot of emotions. i like it. much love, akie. I am proof that the heart is a risky fuel to burn. |
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