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Teen Poetry #6
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im sorry
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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im sorry |
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LOSTinTHISworld Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 94canada |
im sorry that i tried so hard i put up such a fight im sorry that i failed so much in my pathetic life im sorry you dont understand whats going through my mind im sorry that when i need to talk you never have the time im sorry that im giving up theres no strength left in me im sorry that you tried to help but its time my sould is freed im sorry i love you so much and that you love me too im sorry this will hurt you which will make it hard to do im sorry that its come to this but i see no other way im sorry if youll miss me but im leaving you today |
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| © Copyright 2003 becky dudley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is a really neat poem, flows very well. You express your feelings smoothly  It sounds like you're going through a tough time...I hope things get easier soon. N if you were only writing from that perspective, you had me fooled! So yeah, great job Luv, Liz xxx "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Did you ever notice that people tend to apologize for their actions and not for their beliefs? I liked the way you ended the poem by switching the format of your lines to seem more unpredictable. Neat. The way you also began your poem with your weaknesses and ended with a strong outcome was also very good. In any case, I hope things get better for you. Being lost always means there's a possibility of being found. Keep up the writing!-Leah |
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SarBear Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205Massachusetts |
beautiful poem!!!!! It really hit the spot and i can feel what you feel. You may be lost-but theres always the other side of the rainbow-you will be found. |
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LOSTinTHISworld Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 94canada |
hey, thanx for all your replys...they were greatly appreciated. yes, this poem is about myself. i will probably end up leaving it in my suicide note. |
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
Welcome to Passions. I loved your poem... you're a wonderful writer. And now that you're here... and we've seen how awesome you are, we really don't want you to leave. I know how you feel... I've been there... on the edge of just jumping off and leaving everything that's slowly killing me behind. But girl, you have to remember that it will get better. It did for me... and even though I know it doesn't seem like it, you just have to keep believing. No matter how bad it is. This is a wonderful place if you need friends... support... just people to talk to. There are so many caring people here. And I, for one, am right here for you if you need to talk. Hope things start going better for you. -Lioness e-mail: notanothertrend@yahoo.com AIM: ahiddensong YIM: shuriryuprincess |
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