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Zephrex
New Member

since 2003-05-08

Posts 4
Alberta, Canada

0 posted 2003-06-05 05:46 PM

This poem is about a girl I like. I've known her for about 6 months and really like her, but I'm to shy to tell her how I feel.

*Robyn*
In the dark of dawn
Before the sun is up
I sit, unable to sleep
Thinking of her

I can see her face in my mind
Her dark eyes shining in the sun
Her long deep orange hair dancing
In the gentle breeze

Her smile, capable of freezing time
Her eyes, deep and sensitive
But never looking my way
I watch her laugh, wishing she was mine

The first orange rays of sunlight
Pierce through the morning mist
Warming the sharp cold air
Fending off the night’s bitter chill

I listen as a robin sings its cheerful song
Telling me to cheer up
Forget my sorrow
Forget my heartache

How can I forget
The bittersweet feeling
When time slows down, but still goes so fast
That instant that feels like eternity

How can I forget
That moment when her eyes met mine
The smile on her face
An instant i would die for

That moment when I forgot all my troubles
When her eyes locked mine
Looking deep into my mind
Her deceiving smile, says she’s interested

Then she moves on
The spell is broken
Along with a heart
Never noticing me again

I sent her an email
Telling her how I felt
The email was never replied
Silence is my answer.

Silence
Horrible confusing silence
That is my answer
That is my reply

I know the ending sucks (not like the rest of the peom doesn't) and thanks for reading it.

SarBear
Member

since 2003-06-05

Posts 205
Massachusetts

1 posted 2003-06-05 06:11 PM

the ending doesnt suck at all!!! keep writing your feelings down I can really feel you in this poem. I hope Robyn notices you!! Check out some of my poems too if you want

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

2 posted 2003-06-05 10:10 PM

Awwwww.....this is sooooo sweet! I sure hope Robyn replies soon! Just give her time, she probably has to figure out how she feels. If she is as lovely as you say she is, then she will at least email you and say if she doesn't feel the same, she wouldn't just leave a big silence. Hey don't worry too much about it, just be patient...and I really hope things work out for you

This is like the sweetest poem....you could always write one for me if Robyn doesn't like it

hehehe well, yeah lots of luck and great write! Stick around here and keep posting, it's great to have you! Welcome to Passions

Enjoy your stay with us!
Luv, Liz xxx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

Zephrex
New Member

since 2003-05-08

Posts 4
Alberta, Canada

3 posted 2003-06-06 01:19 AM

Thanks for your comments.

I never show my poems to anyone, so not only is this a first, but I also don't get much constructive criticism on my poems. So any hints, tips, suggestions or flames are welcome.

I don't really write poems that often, just when I'm inspired by someone or something.
Oh, and thanks for the welcomeing, I'm sure I'll like it here, but I'm not sure if you guys can put up with me.

Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down their level then beat you with experience

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