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Teen Poetry #6
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Sunshine
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Sunshine |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
When I'm not with you the sun won't shine but your still his and not mine thats the way it is I can't change how you feel I just gotta find some way to deal til you change your mind I wish I knew why I'm like this why your the only one I really miss no matter how far you run You are everything Everything I think about everything I feel I love you no doubt this has to be real If it's not then I'm blind I can't see any anyone out of all of them your the only one you win the game My heart belongs to you it's yours for whatever no warranty... it's yours forever just don't forget me Your heart isn't mine it belongs to someone someone thats not me there goes my Sun never a happy ending |
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| © Copyright 2003 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
good stuff man I totally understand how that feels too been there b4 and now she's getting married |
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SilentTears Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371Lost and Broken |
Wow...I really love your poetry. I haven't read any of your stuff in a while...but every time I go back to read yours...I'm always amazed. You have such a beautiful way with words. Really nice job! As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me |
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
Wellll... check the spelling and grammar. That's the first thing that always hits me as being wrong in everything. Yeah... I'm a perfectionist.  The format of it took me a minute to figure out... it's really interesting how you rhymed the last four lines, and not the first one of each stanza. Somehow, though, it seemed like the first line fit and the last one didn't. So now I'm confused about what exactly throws it off. Anyway, I do like your writing, 'though I haven't seen you here since I first joined. Keep up the good work! -Lioness |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
I know how ya feel...it sucks. I like the poem. It flowed really well. ::Jen:: If you listen hard enough silence can mean more than words. |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Yeah I know it seems a little broken up when you read it...I tend to write how I feel and it usually comes through in the words and the format. I feel a little twisted around myself right now so it kinda shows in the poem. Thanx for the tip on the spelling and everything..I very rarely take care to look at that until long after I write it. -"Poet Nascitar, Non Fit" |
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brezee Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140 |
hey nice job i liked the poem, and i can really relate to it right now, also i guess even if the words are really jumbled up and maybe even spelled wrong, if you know how it feels then you can find them instantly, keep up the good work ~*~*brezee*~*~ |
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