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Teen Poetry #6

Unable

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

0 posted 2003-07-10 02:42 PM

*I feel this is a bad title. Tell me what you think...*

I've never felt so dead,
Inside and out,
Betrayed beyond belief,
My heart aches as I reach out for you,
Yet...you are not there,
My temples pound harder and harder each moment,
Dark cloudy weather has become my being,
Unable to understand,
Unable to comprehend,
Unable to stop crying.
These tears flow without being convinced,
My eyes have lied to me.
I feel the distance growing,
As I have before,
Not willing to let go of what once was true,
Lying here staring at the blank ceiling,
I picture every memory I have with you,
Some of the happy times,
But one has left a permanent stain on my heart,
When I saw you...
With her.

"If I could give you one gift it would be my eyes...So you could see how it feels to be me looking at you." -Unknown

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

1 posted 2003-07-10 03:15 PM

I think this was a great poem, Jess. It's probably exactly how I would write it. I'm sorry hunnie...I love you.

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2003-07-10 11:09 PM

Wow, this might be my favorite of your poems. Perfect flow, and you got your emotions across very well.
This one is definitly going in my library,
Well done! And I sincerely hope things get better.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Obsolete
Junior Member

since 2003-06-27

Posts 43

3 posted 2003-07-11 01:19 AM

Powerful and honest, loved it.

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

4 posted 2003-07-11 02:03 PM

nice work. i feel the emotions only in an opposite view, "him."

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