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Teen Poetry #6
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blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA

0 posted 2003-05-14 04:25 PM



Mostly innocent, happy, free
Bored with that - not liking me
Wished for someone to show me life
Wish was granted, fateful night

Looked in his eyes, and fell in love
Thought we were destined up above
Didn't know him, didn't care
Wanted him, his life to share

Stole my innocent, happy, free
Left me sobbing. On my knees.
I was hurt, alone and scared
And then I found out someone cared.

Said all the things that needed said
Convinced without him I'd be dead
I decided I was wrong
I once more fell, lived circle song

Sweetness turned to hateful charm
Trapped and screaming in his arms
Don't care what you do to me
But when you're done, just let me be

I shouted, fought, I hoped and tried
Until my heart laid down and died
Swore to never love again
What once was trust became a sin

And that time, it was you who saved
Helped me when I wasn't brave
Patched my heart, and held me tight
Brought me back and showed me light

And when it hurt too much to bear
You were always waiting there
If I could only open my eyes
You could banish all the lies

And one more time, I thought I'd try
Prayed that this time I was right
You said I was, and took my hand
And I thought I'd give love one more chance

It seemed to be I'd finally found
One who could speak without a sound
Your eyes, soft words, haunted my nights
But I was blinded by my sight

For you too left, as all have done
And wishing can't make you the one
The only one who ever stayed
And now you're gone, I'm left this place

You took my heart, my hopes and dreams
And this time no one hears my screams
Perhaps that means they don't exist
As never did your poisoned kiss

And now I watch from distant dreams
Think sometimes about these things
That made me what the world now sees
From mostly innocent, happy, free


Whew. I'm just on a run of LONNNNG poems recently, aren't I?

© Copyright 2003 Laura - All Rights Reserved
OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

1 posted 2003-05-18 03:29 PM


I like this too.  They are long, but I don't get bored with them like I do with most really long poetry! I liked most of it, the wording was really good.  The only thing I would change is maybe

"Left me sobbing. On my knees."

The way you separated that was odd, a little distracting.  Otherwise it was good!

Nice!

Cassi

blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA
2 posted 2003-05-18 08:03 PM


I know... I don't like that line either. It's one of those things you go over and over and keep changing it and it just never fits right... I hate it when that happens.

Anyway, thanks for the support!

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