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Teen Poetry #6
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blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA

0 posted 2003-05-13 05:50 PM


Yeah, so a semi-happy poem for once. I hope y'all can get the rhythm... it's kinda weird.


Staring at the cloudless sky
Dreaming of my life to come
Wind runs it's fingers through my hair
I've been hurt but I don't care
I've realized that it's time gone by
It doesn't matter where I'm from

Perhaps my heart's forever scarred
But no more than from falling down
Perhaps it left a bruise or two
But I don't care 'cause now I'm through
With my feeling sorry broken heart
And perpetual don't-hurt-me frown

The people I loved left me behind
And now I'm leaving them all
No more holding on, I'm sick of their scorn
Every part I gave them is broken and torn
They didn't love back, and now they'll find
This time I'm not there when they call

So now my past is left in the past
And what I have to live for is now
My future can go any way that I want
I'm now in charge, and I'll lead from the front
And it's only my fault if this doesn't last
Because I can go forward, now I know how

© Copyright 2003 Laura - All Rights Reserved
BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
1 posted 2003-05-13 10:10 PM


hey, I'm glad you have the strength to move on with your life...it's hard to do sometimes. good write.
Jen

To hate you must first have loved.

snoduck
Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 99
Selah, WA
2 posted 2003-05-14 12:46 PM


ohh I hate tough times. Life is tough, but the only thing you can do is play fair.  nice poem!

-Erica-

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

3 posted 2003-05-18 03:35 PM


Pretty good... not my favorite but not bad.  It was happy and all but some of the rhyming was odd... some was great though I really like this:

"Wind runs it's fingers through my hair
I've been hurt but I don't care"

I really like that it seemed like a major statement of the poem. Very good very good.

skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
4 posted 2003-05-18 04:11 PM


Sometimes it takes a while to learn how to move on. I'm glad you figured it out. Nice work on the rhythm and rhyme in the poem, too!

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

FlyingCloud
Member
since 2003-04-28
Posts 151
A little place inside my head
5 posted 2003-05-18 04:20 PM


Thanks for writing such a positive poem! It brought a smile to my face. See?
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